lotionize

the act of putting lotion on.

I'm about to lotionize the crap out of my legs.

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cold lotion

Coined by comedian Bill Burr and his girlfriend Nia Hill (aka the "Lovely Nia") and shared with his legions of fans via the Monday Morning Podcast.

Refers to something that should be good but ends up being bad. Originated when Bill was about to give Nia a back massage (good) but didn't rub his hands to warm up the lotion which resulted in Nia getting shocked by the sensation his cold freckle-marked hands on her warm skin (bad). Should be said like an African American pimp stereotype from the 1970s.

Person one - "I got a raise a few weeks ago and finally got my pay check. Turns out I was bumped into a higher tax bracket and I now net less than before."

Person two - "Shiiiiiiit bro, that be some cold lotion!"

-------

Person one - "I finally got a date with Margret. Afterwards we went back to my place to fuck but when I took off her shirt she had the worst banana tits ever. I couldn't get it up."

Person two - "Ooooooo that is some cold lotion son!"

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Spreading the lotion

To dominate an opponent.

4-0 up! We’re now spreading the lotion.

Damn, that’s a hat trick by Occle, he’s spreading the lotion.

No way coming back from this now, the lotion has been spread.

Jerkin's Lotion

Street name for Jergen's Lotion, famous for it's cock lubing masterbational qualities.

PETER: Hey, Bobby, how's it goin'?

BOBBY: Great, but I was just getting ready to leave to go shopping.

PETER: Oh man, I HATE shopping!

BOBBY: Oh, come on, I won't take that long; I'm just getting the basics -- milk, cereal, beer and Jerkin's Lotion.

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motion is lotion

Physical activity and movement used to prevent and relieve arthritis pain. The idea that exercise can be just as effective as all those pills, patches and creams for joint health.

The physical therapist suggested an exercise plan to help with my arthritis pain. He said motion is lotion.

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The Lotion Defense

A term used to defend the presence of light white stains on a womens black yoga pants. Much like the Toothpaste Defense.

Hey Babe is that Jizz on the back of your yoga pants? No its body lotion! The Lotion Defense.

lotion bottle

a topping you put on your food

“bro i had fries today so i grabbed a lotion bottle and used the lotion as a sauce”- Ron