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A famous excuse for not coming in on mondays.
employee 1: hey i can't come in today my dog ate a bagel
jared: thats okay buddy i want to be your best friend.
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More like Amber Heard stepped on the bee, but she framed the bloody dog!
Amber Heard: My dog stepped on a bee *screws up her face*
Me: You fucking stepped on the bee you crazy bitch, you just framed the bloody dog!
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Specifically when a male masturbates or strokes his erect genitalia and would like someone to know it. Used mainly for describing to a significant other over phone calls or public that you are/have masturbating. The reason you would use this term and not just outright say it would be due to things like: They're parents are in the room, you're in a public place, they have you on phone speaker, etc.
"Hey,"
"Hey!"
"Am I on speaker?"
"Yeah, why?"
"Oh I'm just calling to let you know I'm petting my dog.."
"Oh..."
*Takes off speaker*
A joke about when "Amber Heard" said this during court
I'm not feeling good my dog stepped on a bee.
When you fuck you dog in the ass
Dude i got so drunk and i fucked my dog
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What about my dog is a term used for wondering if your dog would be included if you go out somewhere. It would normally be said by someone in the name of maximus.
We're going out to Australia tomorrow, wanna come?
"What about my dog"
It is very nice and a Chinese tradition
Person: my vagina ate my dog
Dog: gets eaten my vagina