Stalker

Anyone who has an intense interest in another person. Could encompass a wide variety of people; ranging from the innocent and idealistic to the homocidal, but in our cynical society such people are generally thought of as dangerous, especially if they are socially inept.

See instead hopeless romantic.

The stalker did not think of himself as such until she told him to fuck off.

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Stalker

stalker: selective walker

girl 1: so i followed him home.
girl 2: what? you're now a stalker?
girl 1: hey, that's just where i walk.. it's not my fault i was simultanously following him.

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stalker

Someone who looks through all your photos but doesn't comment.

Pablo: Dude, Jenna has this cute fluffy pillow. I always wanted one of those!
Paco: How do you know about that? Stalker.
Pablo: Uhh uhh well... Well how do you know about that!
Paco: Uhh...

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Stalker

Following around the person you like even though they hate you and would wish to hit you with a scalding hot frying pan if legal. Some people call this stalking. I call it love.

Monica is always following around Jordan. His friends shout stalker at her across the hall. But she doesn't stalk him. She just loves him and likes to admire his fine buttocks while walking behind him.

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stalker

OMGWTFBBW!! This fucking creepy guy won't leave me alone!! He keeps sending me flowers, and asking me out on dates! He called me, and left a suicidal message on my answering machine! WTF! He has a wall covered with my pictures! HELP!!!

Someone please help me! HE HAS ME LOCKED IN HIS BASEMENT AND I AM POSTING THIS WITH MY CELL PHONE'S WIRELESS WEB SERVICE!!!**#!#@!@

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stalker

Someone who follows another person around, becoming obsessed with that person, eg collecting hair, taking photos, observing them with binoculars etc.

Jack's such a stalker
Stalkee:"Jack what are you doing?"
Jack:(emits squeaking noise and moves further away to continue stalking)

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no-stalker

A claim to not be stalker-ish when divulging the fact that you know way too much information about the person you are interested in or the person you are dating.

"I see you changed your song on your MySpace profile a few minutes ago. No-stalker."

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