violin hickey

a mark on violinists/violists located directly under the jaw. looks like a hickey. it's formed from violin or violas chinrests rubbing on the neck, usually due to excessive practicing.

you: what's that thing on your neck?
me: it's a violin hickey. i've been practicing a lot because of the school-season.

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violin teacher

A person of exceptional kindness, tollerance and patience, who has an endless supply of viola jokes. A violin teacher should be an excellent violinist, but due to a lack of confidence, glut of personal problems, or a misguided view of the profession they will subject themself to the squeeks and poor intonation of violin pupils.
If the violin teacher carries on for many years, they may be allowed to teach more advanced pupils. This is considerably easier on the ears. More advanced pupils may be destined for the teaching profession and therefore are likely to be emotionally unstable. A violin teacher can help pupils avoid the same pitfalls that beset them and their colleagues, thus making a difference to the lives of many.
Early signs that you may become a violin teacher include and sort of life trauma that has a lasting effect, combined with a talent for violin playing.

Violin teacher: Hello X how has your violin playing been going this week?
Violin pupil: Erm, well, to be honest....
Violin teacher: Have you played it at all this week?
Violin pupil: sniff...sniff...No, my dog died.
Violin teacher: Oh X, that's really sad. (there follows an outpouring from the pupil followed by a cheery: Shall we compose a piece about your dog?
Violin pupil: I dunno, my mum said my playing sounded like a cat was dying...bursts into tears...

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Violin

An instrument that is front center left of any orchestra that makes a sound like a donkey makes when it’s castrated. It can make your ears bleed and cause death.

Ben and Alex played the violin with their father today. The death statistics today rivaled the bubonic plague.

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emo violin

Replace bow with knife.
Replace violin with wrist.
Proceed to saw.


-Emo.

Go play the emo violin, loser.

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big violin

What non-orchestra people call a cello

Educated Orchestra Geek: Hey, you coming to the concert tonight?
Uncultured Swine: oOh wiLL tHeRe bE tHoSe biG viOLiNs oWo

*facepalm*

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Red Violin

A fart so rench that it can clear out a crowded room in next to no time.

Back ground information:
Ben breaks wind in club called the Red Violin and tries to walk away…but club is so small and wind so potent that Ben can't escape his own flatulence…no matter where he goes. Fellow patrons are aghast.

Time for me to squeak out another red violin tune.

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Blood violin

The meeting of wrist and razor blade in the act of, or attempt at, suicide. The razor blade takes the bart of the bow, the wrist the violin, and the cutting motion is the playing.

Playing the blood violin, i.e. cutting one's wrist.

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