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Launch an investigation

A blanket statement for when a company or organization fucks up and needs to do something about the angry media. Usually results in nothing happening, because they investigated themselves and found they did nothing wrong.

I know our CEO was banging 12 interns, stole millions from charity, and was arrested on three counts of murder, but don’t worry, we’ll launch an investigation.

by KingJx212 November 2, 2021


Discord Bureau of Investigation

A Discord agency that monitors discord servers that violate TOS and protects communities by warning them of danger. They also protect the discord people and uphold its TOS. Their server link is discord.gg/f4535zbRr9 for assistance.

The Discord Bureau of Investigation busted several people breaking Discord TOS.

by DiscordBureauofInvestigation November 18, 2022


Rectal Investigation

Anal body cavity search performed during a traffic stop by police

Pulled over for speeding, Willie soon became the target of a lengthy rectal investigation in the officers futile search for crappy contraband.

by Rayngel November 6, 2020


Inch Investigator

A person, typically a woman, who will reject a guy who is shorter than 5’11” due to their unreasonable height requirement in a potential partner.

The inch investigator ghosted me because I didn’t wear my shoe inserts.

by K0z254 August 25, 2022


PIS (private investigator services)

PIS

1. when a group of close knit friends come together to figure some shit out

"damn i wish i had the PIS (private investigator services) team to help me figure this out"
when a group of close knit friends come together to figure some shit out

by the psi team August 2, 2023


arson investigator

my username, but also, someone who gets a call from a fireman/firewoman that the fire is deemed arson, and then the arson investigator will see what device was used i.e molotov cocktail, gas can, lighter. and they will try to catch the suspect.

the arson investigator is investigating the Montreal fire

by arson_investigator October 16, 2021


alphabetical investigations

BINvestigation: Where a person or animal paws through your storage-containers
DINvestigation: Finding out what all da hubbub was about
FINvestigation: What a game warden performs on anglers after a day of casting their poles and/or nets
GINvestigation: Can refer to either (1) a sobriety check, or (2) detective work regarding suspicion/reports of booze-smuggling
KINvestigation: Research to either determine who da deadbeat dad is, or locate relatives in an estate-settlement kerfuffle
PINvestigation: Squinting around to find out who either (1) left da thumbtack on da teacher's chair, or (2) who used someone's debit card without permission
SINvestigation: What a priest performs if da confessions-booth doesn't adequately do da trick
TINvestigation: Gumshoe work to see who used crappy-a** sheet-metal for a construction/repair job
VINvestigation: Checking up on da bar-code-type digits on a car's front deck
WINvestigation: What Al Gore wanted performed during da infamous "hanging chad" debacle wif da Y2K voting-cards
YINvestigation: Researching for da first half of da classic Chinese equation

If you enjoy detective work, immersing yourself in da dozen-or-so types of alphabetical investigations should keep ya occupied for a while.

by QuacksO December 11, 2022