investment broker

A businessman whose purpose is to make you go broke with his investments.

I could go broke just by practicing unwise spending; why should I pay an investment broker to accomplish this for me???

Invest in yourself

Spending your time and money for your own improvement, future success or good time / enjoyment. As opposed to spending your money and / or time trying to please people especially people you don't like.

" I can't believe it! I just blew her rent money hosting a big dinner party for my frenemies."

"Yeah it sounds like you don't know how to invest in yourself. "

Investment fatty

The idea of dating a fat chick with the goal of making her thin and therefore more attractive.

I'm dating an investment fatty, if I'm successful the dividends will be a hot girlfriend.

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investment bank

Greed, the downfall of American Productivity.
If your factory or enterprise is no longer privately held, and margins are less than 25%, prepare for your job to move offshore.

Fred: "Hey Greg, where's your car?"

Greg: "Couldn't afford the payment. An investment bank took over our factory, sold off the machinery and building, and now 14 year old Chinese girls make Oster blenders."

Fred: "It's economics. 1/8th the quality at 1/10th the wage."

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social investment

Doing certain activities that places you in better social standing among your peers

He made some social investment today; he bought tacos for all of us

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Investment Banker

Rhyming slang for wanker.

Hey, how come bob didn't show up at the party Saturday?

I don't know, I heard he got a job as an investment banker.

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Good Investment

Something that is highly invested in. saying or doing something very well or smart.

Uriah: Hey, where is my coat babe?"
Savanna: " oh don't you remember its by the door."
Uriah: "oooohhhh yeeeaahhhh.. babe, good investment!"

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