shit itch

The itch your anus gets if you haven't wiped properly after doing a poo

"Man, I have to go take a shower, I've got the worst shit itch"

"Why are you scratching your arse, have you got worms?"
"No, its just shit itch"

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Lap Itch

Implied perception given when you are trying to covertly/secrety text message with your phone hidden in your lap, or under a table and are doing SUCH a crappy job it is very noticable by EVERYONE you are trying to hide it from.

When you catch someone horribly failing to hide they fact they are trying to text message under the table, you should say: "Hey, you should get some cream for that lap itch!"

Itch to bitch

When someone can't wait to argue about something.

"That movie sucked."
"Yeah, I can't wait to get my computer. I've got an itch to bitch about it."

face itch

An annoying itch that appears on one's face when their hands are engaged in an important activity (primarily video games) and cannot be used to alleviate the itch without negative side affects. The face itch only appears at these inopportune moments and would not otherwise appear when the itch could be easily scratched.

Johnny got a face itch just as he was about to own his friend at madden. He took his hands off the controller to scratch his face and messed up the play; Johnny lost. Stupid face itch.

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jock itch

1. Tinea cruris, or ringworm of the groin area. Tinea is a fungus or yeast-like organism that is normally found on skin but overgrows into an infection when there is a weakened state or unbalance. Tinea can also infect the feet (athlete's foot, tinea pedis), the body, or the scalp (ringworm, not a worm at all, given the name from the spreading of the infection that makes a sort of round ring-like red mark on the margins of the infected area.)

Jock itch was said by Bill Cosby to be "better than a good woman", referring to the utter relief found by uninterrupted scratching to relieve the nasty itch.

2. The yearning to be an athlete by a physically unremarkable nerdy kid.

Beauregard kept his wife Fanny up all night with his incessant scratching of his scrotum. Finally, tired of the bed shaking, she tossed him out with the hounds, saying if he wanted to scratch his privates, he could do it in company that appreciated such activities. Beauregard retorted that she was remarkably unsympathetic about his jock itch and reminded her how he was completely sensitive to her situation when she had a yeast infection. Beauregard is getting used to sleeping permanently in the dog house.

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swimmer's itch

Chlorine in the pool robs your skin of the vitamin E and protective oil leaving your skin really dry and itchy....the other defintion should not co-exist with the same term.

Alex Miranda prevents swimmer's itch by putting vaseline on his epidermis.

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thought itch

It's a thought that is on the tip of your tongue but can't remember it.

I have a thought itch I can't remember.

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