Random
Source Code
Random
An empire today is the process of getting the ground to shake by dropping carpet
Carpet Installer: Ok lets empire today this ground.
Absolutely amazing metalcore band from Buffalo NY. Some of their songs include: Sentiments of You, Deprevity Waltz, A Threnody For Modern Romance..etc
If you like metalcore this is the band to listen too
I slam danced my fucking brains out when It Dies Today played A Threnody For Modern Romance live.
72👍 24👎
When a evil blood sucking succubus tries to ruin your friends or your life.
When your friend's ex ask you for his new number. Not today Satan
52👍 19👎
An awkward form of birth control that involves jamming a small, special sponge up your woman and leaving it there for several hours after sex.
What if you get knocked up?
It's okay, I'm wearing a Today sponge!
A term that literally just means for today.
Guy 1: Where we going fo today?
Guy 2: Why are you in my house?
A motto used by protesters who oppose Fred Phelps
Two days after the September 11th attacks, a 19-year old man stood on the street corner facing the church holding up a plywood sign that said "Not today, Fred."
26👍 8👎
used when someone asks you to do something you don't have time to do. typically used when you are in the middle of planning a large project, or are otherwise really busy.
1st guy: "can you pick up a sanwich for me?"
2nd guy: "not today dude! I've got shit to do!"
10👍 2👎