Penile Injunction

A formal command or mandate which requires the recipient to stop acting in a certain way. A Penile Injunction is usually served when someone is particularly annoying during a social situation.

Oli: Look at that group of Chikitie over there by the bus stop, I am going to try and get involved.

Tom: Don't make an idiot out of yourself, they will think your a joker with your stupid hair.

Oli: Shut the fuck up, your the joker. I am going to get myself a hot fucking Chikita.

Tom: Dont fuck with me, or I will serve you with penile injunction

Oli: Dont do that you twat

Tom: Ok, you asked for it fuckface, I hereby serve you with a penile injunction preventing any attempted approach or contact with the Chikita's. Unlucky bitch.

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penile colony

A place where straight male prisoners who have committed particularly heinous crimes are sent -- typical penile colonies are on distant islands and are primarily inhabited by F47707s who have also committed particularly heinous crimes.

The straight male prisoner of such a colony is subsequently subjected to repeated unwelcome cornholing by the gay inmates.

Hey, didjya hear that Bernie in New Seattle hosed down all of those schoolchildren and got sentenced to life in a penile colony?

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penile activity

Any activity involving your wife and your penis or another extremely rare sexual encounter involving your penis.

Husband - "Babe, what are the chances of us engaging in some penile activity tonight?"
Wife - "I'm watching Desperate House Wives. Put your penis away."

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Penile Denial

When a man goes into denial that his penis isn't all it used to be.

"My husband can't come to terms that his penis is not the strong, young lad it used to be. He's suffering from penile denial."

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Penile Rejection

When you see a girl, and its like "oh.. im not horny anymore"

Oh.. im not horny anymore

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penile projectile

Ejaculation, urine, or anything that launches out of the penis.

Look out! My penile projectile is about to land in your coke!

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Penile Sports

There are two main catergories in this sport meatwhacking and schlong swinging; these are two phallus related sports created during the wales trip by the two tom's.
Meatwhacking involves the art of getting a "semi" and beating it against your chest until a nice whacking sound is produced. Originated in a welsh bedroom, in wales obviously
Schlong swinging is the act of rotating the schlong in a vigorous swirl of the hips it originated in a welsh bathroom, again in wales obviously.

Penile Sports in daily life
<THUMP>
oh I hear Tom's meatwhacking again...

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"Toms been a long time in the shower"
"It's all that Schlong Swinging hes been up to!"