Regulation Ranger

The US ARMY has always maintained its' own cultural norms and behaviors. Longstanding jokes and traditions are part of the very make up and fabric of everyday soldier life. One such longstanding, common euphymism was the identification of "Barracks" titles. There was the "Barracks Barber", usually a lower enlisted who would undercut the Post barber by offering cheaper (and usually better) haircuts within the actual barracks. Of course, there came to be a "Barracks Lawyer" to compliment whatever legal dispute or disciplinary claims that soldiers inquire about. To supercede the "Barracks Lawyer" there is now such an appropriate personal title as "Regulation Ranger". Usually a Regulation Ranger has over an average of 7 years of total service, and usually at least one combat deployment. By a wide margin, most Regulation Rangers happen to hold a rank of Staff Sergeant or above. Most Regulation Rangers are ARMY RESERVISTS as well, and hold absolutely zero authority in their regular, stateside, full time career. As a result of their obvious insecurity towards their duties as a leader, most Regulation Rangers study the ARMY Regulation books in their free time. The point of studying regulation books is so that they may exert their authority over those subordinate to them. Most Regulation Rangers are not only insecure, but many have power and responsibility complexes as well. Never far behind a unit commander or senior NCO is a Regulation Ranger, always manipulating and methodically playing "games" so as to implement more and more useless rules. When the implementation of a new rule is emplaced, a Regulation Ranger is satisfied. Unfortunately, this micromanagement doesn't stop, for it spreads among their like-minded counterparts that are bucking for rank. The only way to defeat a Regulation Ranger is to outperform and outclass them in every possible aspect.

Usually being in the ranks of E-6 to E-9, most Regulation Rangers are insecure and have control complexes.

A Regulation Ranger can implement whatever rules they wish to, and often make up redundant, useless rules right on the fly.

"Hey, you can't wear a knife on your belt. It says so in the regs!"

"Hey! You're only allowed to lift weights after 1700, it was put out in the regs"

"You're not allowed to take more than one pop-tart from Class 1. It says somewhere in the regs!"

2👍 4👎

Self-regulation

That's the issue, isn't it?

Hym "You know, the participants ask 'what can I do to get him to do what I want him to do?' and the answer is 'nothing until the problem is acknowledged'. I've outlined the problem. You all refuse to acknowledge it. You have attributed to me an inability to self-regulate. You've taken it upon yourself to step in (in Orwellian fashion) to aggregate and disseminate information. The purpose is irrelevant. The presupposition of the act is that you are capable of self-regulation so this doesn't need to happen to you but I am incapable of self-regulation (in a way that you are not) and so your surveillance of me is not only justified but necessary. You are not qualified to make that assessment. Nor do you have the authority. You will do the thing I want you to do or I will do a thing I don't want to do in direct response to the act. It's the only choice you've left me. Hurry it up. I haven't got all morning."

3👍 14👎

regulate your genitals

Another way of saying "Calm your tits!"

Richard: Oh my god, Jeffrey is totally hitting on me, ugh.
Fabrizio: In your dreams fam, he's definitely gawking at that absolute Chad behind you.
Richard: Do you not see him, he totally wants to get it on. Look at him, drooling!
Fabrizio: Dude, ya gotta regulate your genitals ma man. Maybe lay off the booze for now.

Porn Star Regulation

1. A measurment of penis length deemed worthy of being filmed for pornographic purposes.

2. A penis over 12 inches in length

Blayne of Castaic CA is one of the lucky men responsible for one of these rare gems.

"OMG! last nightMr. Pearson ripped me apart with his P.S.R.(Porn Star Regulation) ; Hence the wheel chair."-explained the crippled girl

20👍 9👎

not playing with a regulation ball

mentally incompetent; mentally challenged

I suspect that panhandler with the blow-up doll is not playing with a regulation ball.

Regulating Big Brother

(All 3 words must start with a capital): code word for getting rid of Section 230

Can someone please help me in Regulating Big Brother? I don't want to live in 1984

Non-regulation head-shape

A head-type sported by many civil servants, particularly Natural England employees.

Who's that?

That's Fenton, the new boss.

But he's got a non-regulation head-shape.

Haven't they all?

327👍 120👎