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You know those FREAKY girls? I don't mean the one's into literal SHIT, but the one's who like blood. Not menstrual blood, but YOUR blood. They will do as the title says, split your cock IN HALF. SHE WILL LITERALLY SPLIT YOUR DICK INTO TWO SEPARATE PIECES
Guy 1: I've finally gotten Angela to go on a date with me!
Guy 2: Hey man, I hate to break it to you, but Angela's a cock splitter *takes off pants*
Guy 1: Shit..
In males, the early morning piss in which the stream tends to split into at least a couple different directions; in the most extreme cases, this can cause a good bit of piss to end up on the rim of the toilet bowl
Damn this morning splitter. I don't have time to be wipin piss off the rim of the toilet today.
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A sexual act during which the woman's legs are held by the ankles and spread as far apart as possible, while ramming the cock into her with as much force as possible, making the woman fear she will be split in half.
If the act is performed correctly, the fuck profile should perfectly imitate the piston-action of a real log splitting machine.
"Hey Chris, Sherry was complaining all day at work that she was sore and could hardly walk...what did you do to her last night?"
"Well, she was talking shit about how much cock she could handle last night, so I put her ass in the log splitter until she started spraying female ejaculate all over the place in an uncontrolled fuck quiver."
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An extremely petite woman who any man with a remotely respectably-sized cock would send to the emergency room. Now, add a healthy hog to the equation and visualize the wedge splitting that log right in two!
Guy 1: Hey dude, were you with Jen last night?
Guy 2: Yeah, why do you ask?
Guy 1: Well, she's walking with a huge limp, and looks kinda bow-legged all of the sudden... Dude, I've seen your junk in the shower, and she's probably 90 pounds soaking wet...
Guy 2: I know... The way she was screaming, I almost thought I had it in the wrong hole. Man, Jen sure is a log splitter.
Guy 2 after a brief pause: What the hell are you doing sizing up my wang?
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1. A cock of exceptional girth and rigidity, esp. one used to deliver a merciless fuck
My sister said she couldn't walk for a week after Carlos fucked her, because he was hung with a real pussy-splitter.
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Fecal incontinence while wearing thong underwear, most commonly performed by extremely drunk females.
Sally pulled a log splitter last night after she passed out.
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An extremely petite woman who any man with a remotely respectably-sized cock would send to the emergency room. Now, add a healthy hog to the equation and visualize the wedge splitting that log right in two!
Guy 1: Hey dude, were you with Jen last night?
Guy 2: Yeah, why do you ask?
Guy 1: Well, she's walking with a huge limp, and looks kinda bow-legged all of the sudden... Dude, I've seen your junk in the shower, and she's probably 90 pounds soaking wet...
Guy 2: I know... The way she was screaming, I almost thought I had it in the wrong hole. Man, Jen sure is a log splitter.
Guy 2 after a brief pause: What the hell are you doing sizing up my wang?
34👍 18👎