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"Dude, you were making a lot of noise in the bathroom. It sounded like you were birthing a Texan."
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Restaurant in Amarillo Texas located East of town on I-40 that advertises on all the major Interstates hundreds of miles in all directions. Their claim to fame is a FREE 72 oz. steak dinner (if eaten in one hour). Meal includes 72 oz steak, shrimp cocktail, roll, and baked potato. If you are unable to eat it, the cost is like $50.00. Well worth getting one of your friends to try it and if he fails, pay the $50 for him. It's worth $50 to see someone try to shit 4.5 pounds of beef, right???
Kid #1: "Hey, lets eat there dad."
Kid #2: "Yes, yes, yes." "Yeaaaa Big Texan."
Dad: "Ok, ok kids, settle the hell down before I pull the goddamn car over."
Kid #1: "You hungry grandma?"
Grandma: "Well, as a matter of fact I'm famished little Johnny"
Kid #2: ...snicker...
Kid #1: "Hey, whats that smell dad?"
Dad: "Thats Amarillo son."
An hour later....
Kid #1: "Yea Grandma, you did it!"
Grandma "I dont feel to well kids."
Kid #2: "Just wait till tomorrow Grandma." "Your gonna have 4.5 lbs of beef hangin out your ass!!!!"
Kid #1: "Yea Grandma, It'll feel like a Big Texan was in there!"
Kid #1 and #2: "Ha ha ha ha."
Dad: Get in the car you little bastards!"
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1)Someone who is not a native Texan who in their daily language will throw in a "y'all", "lawlz", "ain't", or "howdy".
2)Someone who wears belt buckles, cowboy hats, cowboy boots, plaid button-up hillbilly shirts, and thinks their a huge redneck when they haven't even VISITED Texas or don't even know what a farm looks like or what you do on it.
Mr. Reed is such a Texan wannabe and he doesnt even know it.
What a dumbass!
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When a female performs oral sex on a male, then just as he is about to come, pulls out a lighter and lights a fart he has been holding in. This culminates in a combo orgasm/fart fireball. This is the infamous Smoky Texan.
"Have your zippo and some tissues on standby love, I really feel like a Smoky Texan tonight.
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To strangle someone to death using a western bolo tie
Liam was found strangled in the morning wearing a Texan bowtie.
A faggot who isn’t form Texas but tries to act and speak like he’s actually from Texas.
“Elijah always try’s to speak with a Texas accent. I wish he’d stop being such a Trans-Texan.”
Apparently, the language George W. Bush is fluent in. Bears almost no resemblance to the English language.
George W. Bush: "Actually, I...this may sound a little West Texan to you, but I like it. When I'm talking about...when I'm talking about myself, and when he's talking about myself, all of us are talking about me.”
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