dickful thinking

A pun on "wishful thinking," it's when a man lets his own sexual interest in someone strongly color his judgement regarding the person's reciprocal interest in him. It makes him interpret every gesture from his object of interest as a come on, even when it clearly isn't. This is known as clitful thinking if it's a woman.

Him: "So the new hot intern says 'good morning' to me when she comes in to work, and once commented on my desk picture of my kids - said they were cute. She's totally into me. I'm gonna try and hook up with her at the office party."

Friend: "I get that it's been tough for your after the divorce, but that's just dickful thinking. She's not into you, now stop before you get an HR complaint."

OR

Him: "Pete high-fived me at the trivia night - I'll bet he's secretly gay and would let me blow him."

Friend: "You have no gaydar and a bad case of dickful thinking. The boy's straight."

Think Tankie

A person who is professionally involved in spreading propaganda while working for a think tank that is funded by weapons manufacturers who literally build tanks.

I just landed a sweet job at the Australia Strategic Policy Institute (ASPI) as a junior Think Tankie!

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Share Thinking

This is when an individual doesn't research information that was found online but still 'shares' it on. They barely use their own brain in the process to at least try to find out if it is true. Said individuals just 'share' incorrect information and in the process forming an opinion from it. This information is nowadays 'shared' in the form of memes, random Facebook posts, or articles from fake sites etc.

Unknown Starter: 'Walt Disney is cryonically frozen' *Shares post* with caption (opinion) without finding out if this is true.
User A: Sees post, *Shares post* with caption based on the previous user's already incorrect opinion of incorrect information.

User B: Oh wow, I didn't know that!, *Shares post*
User C: *Shares post*
User D: *Shares post*
(This cycle usually continues on until a logical person that can think for themselves decides to research the information).

User E: Guys, this isn't really true, did anyone ever try to find this out? The guy isn't actually frozen. Why share this post if you're not going to find out for yourself if it's true? That's share thinking!

bitch think

Ideas, concepts, policies and other expressions that are non-sensical and often contradictory and/or absurd that are formulated by women; often in an effort provide some sort of advantage either material, sociological, legal or personal. Especially if blatently selfish or hypocritical in nature.

Man1: my ex girlfriend just called me a told me that even though she cheated on and broke up with me that I should still pay her bills every month because it is my fault we broke up.

Man2: that's ridiculous bitch think. I would cut contact with her.

think of the children

The most dangerous words in the English language. Often spouted by single-minded individuals with (seemingly) good intentions to persuade people to curtail any given liberty instead of assume personal responsibility.

The government needs to ban all the porn from the Internet, so we don't actually have to get involved and explain our personal morality to our offspring! Please! Think of the children!

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you think?

a sarcastic reply to someone who utters a statement that is obvious or that goes without saying.

gf: "maybe we should just go with the Jimmy...it's cheaper than the Cadillac SUV.

bf: "...ummm....ya think??"

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Thinking sauce

This is produced when you blow a massive load on your girlfriends forehead

"Fuck Stacey Forgot to pick me up a case of beer on the way home ... I'm gonna have to dump a load of thinking sauce on her head tonight "