Random
Source Code
Random
The robotic form of Abe Lincoln that will come from the past to destroy the future.
Noooo! Abe Linco-Tron 3000 is here! Use the children as shields! Nooooo he has my fac-....,(end of transmission)
21👍 7👎
Masturbation; spanking the monkey; shining the pope; pleasing the tall dude with the beard; playing 5 on 1, hanging out with Mary Palmer and her 5 sisters
When the professor asked the students if "there were any other terms for masturbation" to add to the list he had on the board during our human sexuality class, the class fell silent. Then, this grisly old dude in the back crowed out "shaking hands with Abe Lincoln". His addition shocked the entire class including the professor.
24👍 8👎
A day when guys are supposed to send their ab pictures to any girl if they ask
hey Darrel, send me ab pictures!
No what the heck
But it’s national send ab pics day today
Well in that case...
10👍 2👎
the day, april 23rd is national touch abs day. so grab a hot looking guy, with a nice six pack and feel free to touch them!
“Damn Becky, I got to touch Luke’s abs today. Thank God for national touch abs day!”
A very definite way of answering a question, stronger than the normal "absolutely".
Little sister of the word def-in-a-telly.
Dave: Michael says I'm a bad influence on you, you don't think I am do you?
Adam: Actually David, I abs-so-loo-telly do, now who is it you want me to throw a stone at?
4👍 1👎
The Colgate Ab-Crunch is the act of perching one's self atop the toilet bowl, and typically with fingers tucked under thighs, leaning one's upper body forwards in an effort to completely evacuate the bowels by means of protrusion. The strategy takes its name from the striking similarity between the human body during this manoeuvre, and the most common technique for getting the last out of your toothpaste tube.
The Colgate Ab-Crunch is commonly used after extreme digestive trauma, such as tequila slammer n hotdog hangovers and all you can eat bets in steakhouses.
Example:
"He was a good man, a kind man, and had he known that the Colgate Ab-Crunch would cause that brain haemorrhage and lead to the untimely end of his life, he probably would've eaten more fibre."
1👍 4👎
ABS is a serious condition that has a gradual onset but eventually becomes permanent and lasts a lifetime. There is no known cure and no known effective treatment. The most obvious symptom is a blank, expressionless, unreadable face that becomes the default permanent face one presents to the world unconsciously. It tends to make other people instinctively recoil in terror often making normal social interaction confusing and painful for the sufferer. It is actually harmless to others and can even often be useful in certain situations. Occasionally it is accompanied by a very subtle nod of the head. Onset can be as early 10 years old, and left untreated, gradually becomes permanent by age 14.
"Acquired Ballerinaface Syndrome (ABS)" can be recognized on every ballet dancer having trained from an early age with a reputable school that does not participate in competitions