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The most scientific scale known to man for rating the desired mouth-to-phallus ratio during the practice of oral sex. On one end of the spectrum, we have Bernadette Peters with a diminutive mouth. We'll assign her oral cavity a value of .99 carollas (unit of measurement named after Adam Carolla, a pioneer in the field of Phallometry, whose Water-Displacement Method is now the standard throughout the Penile Sciences). Multiplying this value by the average human penis size (100 carollas) yields a Carolla Psychological Satisfaction (or C.P.S.) score of 99 aces (as in, "That's just aces!"). On the other end of the spectrum, we have the less desirable orifice of Sandra Bernhard measuring .01 carollas. Once again, multiplying this value by 100 yields a score of 1 ace. This indicates that the experience of inserting the male member into Bernhard's mammoth mouth for the purpose of fellatio, while perhaps physically pleasurable, is overshadowed by the pride-shattering effects.
Monica Lewinsky: Hey, Bill, you want a BJ?
President Clinton: (covers mouthpiece of the phone he's holding) Monica, I'm on the phone with a Congressman. Sorry about that sir. (inaudible chatter from phone) Yeah, just some intern I'm banging. About a 7. But you should see the mouth on her. (more inaudible chatter) What's the Bernadette-Bernhard scale? (more chatter) Adam who? Oh, I love Birchum.
Monica Lewinsky: Bill, I'm wearing that blue dress you like.
President Clinton: Congressman, I've gotta go. But you've sure given me something to think about. Maybe I'll just work her over with a cigar.
Morgan Freeman Narrator: But he didn't. Well he did. But he also got oral. Completely rejecting the principles of the Bernadette-Bernhard scale. Two things were lost that day: America's innocence, and the confidence of the pretty well-endowed Leader of the Free World. It just goes to show you, some birds aren't meant to be caged, their feathers are too bright. But in such a massive cage, who can see a bird anyway? Get it on. Got to get it on. No choice but to get it on. Mandate, get it on.
20👍 5👎
1-10 scale is used to define someone's attractiveness.
This is how it is:
1- Hideous. Burns your eyes out. You don't even want to look at them. You would never date them, not even if someone payed you 5 million dollars.
2- Still very ugly. Plastic surgery needed.
You wouldn't date them ever.
3- You'd be able to look at them, maybe be friends. They're unattractive
4-Under average, with tons of make-up they could be ok looking.
5- Your friends wouldn't be impressed at all. Doesn't make a good impression on anyone actually. With lots of makeup your friends could agree they're fine.
6- Average-abover average. Cute. Friends would like them, short term relationship.
7- Above average, good looking definitely. Dateable.
8- Hot. Would impress your friends. Long term relationship possible.
9- Very rare. Very hot and makes your friends extremely jealous of you. Keep them.
10- perfect. Absolutely perfect. Keep them. Super rare.
Guy 1: what do you think that girl is rated on a 1-10 scale?
Guy 2: probably a 6. She's cute.
Guy 1: Nah man, I'd say an 8. She's hoooot.
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Just like the Richter scale that measures the magnitude of earthquakes, this refers to how much a guy has rocked your world.
It could also mean how big of a surprise or disappointment his dick is in size.
So , Sally, how was your date last night with John?
OMG! He knows how to work it! He was so a 8.5 on the dick-ter scale.
Let me tell you, John may not have an ass, but he makes up for it in the front. He is at least a 9.5 on the dick-ter scale.
Oh yeah, I had a one night stand with that guy. From what I remember, it wasn't worth it. He was like a 2.0 on the dick-ter scale.
Did you see that bulge in that guys pants? Looks like he could cause some serious damage with thing. He must be like a 8.5 on the dick-ter scale.
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The -5 to 5 is a more logical rating scale than 1-10 having negative convey repulsion and positive convey attraction. It also has 11 choices instead of 10 and is useful in getting an honest rating without the baggage of the 1-10 scale.
-5 Extremely Repulsed, would not touch with a 10 foot pole
-4 Very ugly, but you are able to resist the urge to throw up in your mouth
-3 On the very ugly side no doubt but not the ugliest you've ever seen
-2 Definitely not good looking, maybe fat
-1 Not naturally blessed and maybe has a crooked nose or some defect
0 Neutral; No Opinion
1 Not very attractive, but not completely useless to look at
2 Decent looking but someone you are not very interested in
3 Very Attracted, you definitely think this person is attractive
4 Super attractive, but not quite the perfect person for you
5 Extremely Attracted, your type in every way
"Hey bro rate that girl on the -5 to 5 Scale."
"Ehh id give her a 2 shes not bad but i'm not really into her"
10👍 2👎
The theory that for every 15 pounds a man puts on, that he loses 1 inch in penis length, due to the increase in the fat pad on the pubic bone.
Fat? That dude's running a minus on the Fifteen to One scale!
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1) An arbitrary declaration or description of a noun, usually an event or a women, in order to give no further information.
2) A scale by which to describe something that in no way involves numbers in any way.
1)
John: Yo, look at that chick.
Paul: Ehh, she's like a 5 at best.
John: Whatever man, she's at least a 7.
2)
Anthony: So on a Scale of 1 to 10 how was your day?
Jackie: On a scale of 1 to 10, it was pretty awesome.
Anthony: That made absolutely no sense. But I like it.
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The scale for defining the amount of gayness in a male, as defined by Michael R. Holt in early 2007. The female equivalent has never been officially made, although it is no doubt similar in many ways. The initial reason for the creation of the scale, in Michael's own words, was that "Not everything sexual can be defined as simply 'gay' or 'not gay' - it's far more complex than that."
The scale ranges from 1 (completely straight) to 10 (completely gay), with bisexual ranging from 5-6, depending on preference. Michael often notes that full 1's and 10's are particularly rare.
The numbers are as follows:
1 - Completely straight: only ever enjoyed porn with just singular women in it, or lesbians. If you've ever seen a man naked while erect, you are immediately bumped up to a...
2 - Mostly straight: has enjoyed porn with naked men in it , even though the main focus of the viewer was on the woman in the porn
(2.5 - Pretty straight: has enjoyed porn with mostly-female hermaphrodites in it)
3 - Moderately straight: has enjoyed porn with mostly-female transexuals (people born men, but surgically and often hormonally altered to resemble women) in it
4 - Slightly straight: has enjoyed porn with mostly-convincing transvestites (men who only dress like women, but have not had surgery or hormones to resemble them) in it
truncated for length
Dude, you remember that hot chick I was making out with last night? Once I took her home, I found out she had a c**k! I didn't really mind, though - I think I may've moved up to a 3 on the Scale O' Gayness, bro.
17👍 5👎