beat doctor

One who is very adept at regulating the beat, rhythm, or any musical driven composition

For this song I'm going to need a beat doctor

needs a beating

v. Phrase; to express the desire to bludgeon a person or thing due to its annoying or undesirable nature

Bob-Dude, my brother shit in my oatmeal this morning.
Bill-WTF man? He needs a beating

or

Glenn Beck just needs a beating

beat the plastic

When a girl masturbates with a dildo. If she masturbates with a metal object, then the phrase would be beat the steel.

My girlfriend loves to beat the plastic and then send me pictures when I am not around

Casio Beat

When the drum and/or base of a song sounds bad and repetitive, like the producer used preprogrammed instrumentals from a Casio keyboard.

Amateur rappers on YouTube suck, most of them sound like they're using Casio beats.

Beat Bait

Anything pertaining to something so attractive or generally awesome, it produces the overwhelming urge to masturbate. Usually on the spot.

"Jesus! Did you see the rack on Jama? Totally beat bait."
"Dude, respect. Your girl is beat bait."
"OMFG! The new Radeon! 1700 shader units? Beat bait."

beat the rat

An expression from the Ugandan movie "Who killed Captain Alex?". It seems to reffer to either jacking off specificaly as a black male, or to sex.

Captain Alex: I want to beat the rat.
Woman with no name but to importance to the "plot": Take, a bath first. I have a big surprise for you afterwards.
Captain Alex: Ok, but I really want to beat the rat.

beat the fireman

to jerk off or masterbate

I'm going home to beat the firemaninto submission.
I'm so horny today,I'm going to punch the clownlike he owes me money.