needs a beating

v. Phrase; to express the desire to bludgeon a person or thing due to its annoying or undesirable nature

Bob-Dude, my brother shit in my oatmeal this morning.
Bill-WTF man? He needs a beating

or

Glenn Beck just needs a beating

Beat Tipping

When you masturbate and focus primarily on the head of the penis, thereby 'beating the tip'.

"aw man, I caught my little brother beat tipping again :("

Beat Bait

Anything pertaining to something so attractive or generally awesome, it produces the overwhelming urge to masturbate. Usually on the spot.

"Jesus! Did you see the rack on Jama? Totally beat bait."
"Dude, respect. Your girl is beat bait."
"OMFG! The new Radeon! 1700 shader units? Beat bait."

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beat the plastic

When a girl masturbates with a dildo. If she masturbates with a metal object, then the phrase would be beat the steel.

My girlfriend loves to beat the plastic and then send me pictures when I am not around

beat doctor

One who is very adept at regulating the beat, rhythm, or any musical driven composition

For this song I'm going to need a beat doctor

beat the rat

An expression from the Ugandan movie "Who killed Captain Alex?". It seems to reffer to either jacking off specificaly as a black male, or to sex.

Captain Alex: I want to beat the rat.
Woman with no name but to importance to the "plot": Take, a bath first. I have a big surprise for you afterwards.
Captain Alex: Ok, but I really want to beat the rat.

beat the fireman

to jerk off or masterbate

I'm going home to beat the firemaninto submission.
I'm so horny today,I'm going to punch the clownlike he owes me money.