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An incredibly long, drawn-out sexual act involving a man, a woman, their daughter and son, Grandma (it helps if she's from Quebec), the family collie, moose antlers, maple syrup and a piece of hockey equipment from a former Shawinigan Junior-B player named Red Stanley (aka "Stanley's Cup", sometimes misinterpreted as the trophy from a professional hockey league).
While the act itself is far to complex to explain without the use of diagrams, specially modified crash-test dummies and a pie-chart, it can sometimes be seen performed live on stage at an underground nightclub in Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan by a local theatre troupe known as "The Aristocrats".
"Last night's performance of Canada's History was so intense that Grandma's glass-eye wouldn't come back out."
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1. The official magazine of Canada's National History Society
2. The history of that country north of the United States
3. A large rodent with a flat tail known for building dams
4. Another word to describe a female human vagina
Canada's History is just like a vagina... they both eat wood.
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The most jaw-dropping sex act imaginable. It involves putting everything in there.
Stephen Colbert is very experienced at Canada's History.
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Similar to the rumored five-fingered Kung-Fu pimp slap of death, Canada's History is a sexual technique which can alternately lead to either a 36-hour orgasm .... or death.
Instruments used to initiate the illicit 'Canada's History' include a harmonica, a Plastic Man action figure, 2 lbs. of Wendigo fur, a vat of maple syrup, a jar of Nutella, a live duck, 2 packets of duck sauce, the Stanley Cup (full-size replica is allowed), a moose (live or mounted), a kazoo, the complete works of Era Pound, a tazer gun, 4 oz. of tatto ink, a ball gag, and a roll of Canadian quarters. For best results, individuals attempting Canada's History should have endured either a colonoscopy or a pedicure just hours before attempting the procedure.
International treaties prohibit the actual depiction of the technique, although a loophole allows us to provide a list of individuals who may or may not have attempted (and possible even survived) Canada's History:
Betty White
William Shatner
Grape Ape
Lex Luthor
Pres. William McKinley
D. B. Cooper
The black guy from Ghostbusters
Ronald McDonald
Naomi Wolf
Glen Beck
John Luvitz
Redd Foxx
and Rhea Perlman
"Hey, man, are you still getting laid when you go to Niagara Falls for vacation?'
"Well, let's just say Canada's History and leave it at that."
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Whenever Nomes starts talking about her favorite topic, that's when you know you are talking to a history nerd.
Nomes: I would pick Cecily of York
as the other 3 strong woman are already well covered
Other: Maybe Catherine? Edwards girl?
She's right near the end of it all, could be told from a "My families tales: pov
Nomes: no, she's quite dull
tale-end stuff
Other: YOu are such a history Nerd
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Stretching the vagina starting with smaller dildos and moving up to very large ones to stretch the vagina to be large enough to then be penetrated with a little person (dwarf).
Another person (usually a man) holds the little person and moves them in and out of the stretched vagina - doing a Canadian History. Sometimes the person being penetrated is also urinated upon at the same time (Canadian Maritime History).
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A sexual act where a person defecates into a hockey glove and masturbates to moose porn.
Gordon Brown, an expert in Canada's History, always used CCM gloves for ultimate performance.
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