Canadian Thanksgiving

Held on the Second Monday of October in Canada, the Canadian Thanksgiving is one of the few days where we get to lay off our usual diet of Maple Syrup and Poutine in favor of Turkey and Stuffing.

Thanksgiving in Canada is quite interesting, because rather than each household being snowed in individually like the rest of the year, our entire family tree rides their polar bears to a select household's igloo. We then talk about the Leaf's game while sipping on a nice, cold Alpine beer.

Canadian: So, this Thanksgiving we rode our polar bears-
American: Wait, the f***? it's only October, dude.
Canadian: You dumbo!! It's the Canadian Thanksgiving!

canadian karen

Any middle aged hockey mom that (Usually) has 2-3 kids playing and one is a goalie. Constantly complains to the other parents that the coach doesn’t give her son/daughter enough playing time. Also thinks the assistant coach is hot. Usually drives an Escalade or Navigator but can also be seen in a Yukon XL or Suburban. Always has a Starbucks in hand (Which is why she is 5 min late to the game). Constantly chats about non game topics to the other parents at a loud volume during gameplay so as to be heard by everyone unless she is spreading hockey gossip, then she will only whisper. Tells everyone she is going to talk to the coach after the game to see why her kid did not get as much playing time as she felt reasonable. In the end she never talks to the coach and is just a general bitch with a short, choppy hairstyle and yoga pants.

Your kid Would get more shifts if he worked harder in practice, took the game more seriously and if you weren't such a “Canadian Karen”.

Canadian Moment

When your canadian friend does or says something unusual or surprising

Canadian: They are so lesbians.
Intellectual: Bruh they're sisters, what is wrong with you!? Canadian Moment.

Canadian Gravy

Another term for maple syrup.

I need some Canadian gravy for my pancakes.

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[canadian armpit]

when you are about to cum but you pull out and your sperm hits her armpit and gets stuck there

i was banging this chick and was about to cum so i pulled out and gave her a Canadian armpit on accident

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canadian slurpee

Oral sex involving Canadian Maple syrup

Holy shit that bitch just gave me a canadian slurpee

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Canadian Fisting

Canadians, in their vast desire to one up the rest of North America, created a way of fisting someone in the style of their favorite mammal. To perform the maneuver you must have extremely strong digits and the man/woman must have severely trained their hole. Pass your hands across your chest, stopped only by hooking your thumbs. They should now resemble the antlers of the great Canadian Moose. Lube vigorously with maple syrup. Stare deeply into your partner's eyes and give a curt, respectful Canadian nod. Roar the call of the Moose and shove extended Moose horns into the eager hole. Prep for most chilling orgasm of your life.

"She is truly a Mounty's dream, she loves taking a Canadian Fisting."