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Playing Mormon baseball refers to the extremely mild "sexual" acts that Mormons engage in with each other, such as, but not limited to:
Eye contact, light banter, holding hands (NO INTERLACING FINGERS! THAT'S FOR SLUTS AND WHORES), sitting next to each other in church, buying each other promise rings, making rice crispy squares, separated hugging, and, in extreme cases, aggressive spooning.
I could hear Elder Drew and Sharron playing Mormon baseball last night in the other room. I think they were watching 19 Kids and Counting on the couch together!
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Commonly Called a MAV.
Mormon women drive them around all day long, to cart their litter of children around to and fro.
A tipical MAV is a Hummer, Ford Excursion, Ford Explorer, Ford*, Nissan Titan, Suburban, Denali. Any grosly oversized vehicle (commonly called a SUV)
Usually gets less than ten miles per gallon when fully loaded with children.
To spot a MAV, simple look at the driver. Is she a woman? Is her hair done up, is she wearing makeup? Does she have those fucking half see-through shiny silver glasses? Is you said yes to these, you have successfuly spotted a MAV.
A MAV may come equipped with some of the folowing items, this is how you can tell its being driven by one hip-ass mom:
Rims
Spinners
Tinted Windows
Spoilers
After market Xenon lights
Note: 99% of the time trucks are NOT MAV's, as they are usually driven by men and cannot hold many children. Crew cabs are an exception!
These damn women driving their MAVs, get off your fucking cell phone so you dont fucking hit me!
Damn, check out the milf in the MAV!
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to manage especially with excessive control or attention to details; victims of Micro-Mormon Management are most commonly known to release their tensions through smiling, baking Jesus cookies, and trying to convert everyone they know in order to make everyone else's lives just as constrained as their own.
Mark had been so Micro-Mormon Managed that when it came time to go on his mission he had no objections with being sent to Detroit.
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A vagina widened to ridiculous proportions from having too many damn kids.
That girl's really been around. It was a total Mormon slip and slide in there.
Forget her dude. she is a total mormon slip and slide.
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a non alcoholic drink consisting of club soda, lemon zest, and an olive served in a martini glass with an umbrella and lemon skin on the glass
I have to drive home.. get me a minnesota mormon!
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The extra earring(s) women wear to let you know they aren't mormon. This is because mormons are only allowed to wear "one modest pair of earrings." If ever in doubt as to whether or not a girl is mormon, look for the extra earring(s).
I was totally hitting on Breanna the other day, but I saw she had an I'm not mormon earring.. I can only date mormons, so I ran away.
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Polygamous marriage. Made famous by guest character Judge Constance Harm on "The Simpsons."
Congress outlawed Mormon Hold 'Em in 1862 but some Mormons still practice polygamy.
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