don't shit where you eat

do not scew up or screw someone from where you work and or play.

Joe is screwing sally from work and she is busting his balls all the time while working, just riding his ass all the time. Well, he should know that you "don't shit where you eat"

191👍 219👎

i know exactly where you are

cyphers ultimate thats pretty good, it can show whos alive and where their location is and the enemy gets notified. Its not like sovas dart and doesnt keep tracking the enemy, instead it shows that position they are in and once they move they dont show.

Cypher: I know EXACTLY where you are
Sova: mm yes i move so now u cant find me hahahahahahaha

3👍 1👎

Don't play where you eat

When a customer comes in with her son and you make references towards having relations with her in front of her son but then rescind the other by using work as an excuse.

Mom: What are you doing later?
Employee: I'm sorry but I subscribe to the methodology of Don't play where you eat.

10👍 7👎

Where am I GOING, CARL?!

A seriously funny line from the Nationwide Insurance "Vanishing Deductible" commercial.

Guy: Every year you don't have an accident, your deductible goes down!

One year- *Guy fades slightly*
The next year- *Fades again*

Keeps fading and says "Where am I GOING, CARL?!"
*Guy disappears completely*
Carl: (in a sort of giggly, high pitched voice)

....That was awesome!

7👍 5👎

where do babies come from

The one question your 5 year old will ask you about until you lose your shit and you can't handle it no more

nibba: where do babies come from?
Mom: shut the fuck up

12👍 9👎

Get in where I can fit in

To take advantage of a situation, whether it be optimal or otherwise, due to a feeling of unworth.

"Get in where I can fit in is what I need to do with this drunk woman I met in the bar."

21👍 29👎

Where you are and how you're dressed

Points out that circumstances or behavior should have been obvious or anticipated when taking time and place into consideration. What do you expect considering where you happen to be and what you happen to be doing?

A group of "foodies" from a large city are traveling through a remote area and stop at a roadside diner to eat. They find a limited menu which features nothing but high carbohydrate, high fat, and fried foods. Finding it difficult to make a dinner selection one member of the group complains, in surprise, at the type of foods available. Another member of the group says, "Where you are and how you're dressed."

9👍 9👎