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dick johnson

when someone is just being a straight up dick but you don't wanna be rude and call them a dick. you can just call them dick johnson.

"stop cheating dick johnson. "

by woooooooowww January 27, 2019


diddle johnson

Likes to play with penis

Dj likes to diddle Johnson

by 216 wp May 17, 2017


Vanilla Johnson

The process whereby one man ejaculates on another mans penis. It can be a pure accident of through an act of sexual intercourse.

Man 1: OMG i'm so close!
Man 2: Vanilla Johnson me... do it jizz on my girth!
Man 1: F**k yeah! OMG, OMG this is so hot!
Woman 1: Errr guys what about me?!
Men: Shut it, you bearne'd everywhere!

by Vanilla johnson April 10, 2010


The Johnson Effect

When your cellphone starts to ring as soon as you whip out your Johnson to take a piss.

“I ran to the bathroom to take a humongous piss, and of course the Johnson Effect happened as soon as I whipped out my shlong.

by Levi Spencer September 5, 2020


Jimmy Johnson

Just the whitest name itw. he also eats raw eggs and meat. he wears white clothes only, and he uses black clothes as toilet paper.

person 1: hey how are you
jimmy johnson: hey man, my name is jimmy johnson
person 1: nevermind.

by void_> April 26, 2023


P.D Johnson

A soundcloud meme rapper who raps about the gayness of traps, and weird sexual fantasies, such as statues made of foreskin. He is also very fucking stupid.

"Hey, check this soundcloud rapper, he raps about traps and hitler and a bunch of other shit. His name is P.D Johnson!

by Jockstrap Cowboy December 10, 2017


Jo Johnson

Legend has it Jo Johnson is walking the earth today. His name holds a precedent of sheer power and top human male physique except for his only downfall, his height, standing 5’5” with a weight of 180lbs which as bad as it seems only makes him more of an absolute tank. He is a myth among plebeian men who try to match his godly power. He is so powerful that all it takes him to destroy anyone is him simply saying his own name. This absolute monolith of a man gets everything he wishes for. If you dare to disobey the man above god he will smite you with his own name. So let it be know that the legend of this absolute unit of a man will destroy everything in his path if he isn’t appeased. Next time you walk down the street and find a short man to bully. Be careful, it might just be him

Plebeian 1: have you heard the myth of the great Jo Johnson

Plebeian 2: yes, yes I have, I follow him religiously yet never come close to his absolute dominance

Jo Johnson: Jo Johnson

Plebeian 1 and plebeian 2: *dies*

by Maugh October 12, 2021