condom light

The small light inside a vehicle, usually located around the rearview mirror that allows just enough light to see to put on a condom.

Girl: Lucky you are gonna have to turn on your condom light so I can see to put this on you.

Guy: What do you mean, this thing is ten inches. A blind man could see that.

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Condom

A rubber thing that you out over a guy's penis so you don't get a disease or get pregnant. SMART IDEA, FREAK MIDGETS SUCK!

Girl: Heyyyyy baby, wanna have sex?? ................. without a condom? ;)

Boy: Aw, hell no bitch!! FREAK MIDGETS SUCK.

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jesus condom

a term used for a nonexistent condom, derived from the fact that Jesus was a virgin and therefore would not have needed a condom at all. it makes sense, trust me.

so, basically, sex without a condom.

Yeah, me and Janet hit it off with a jesus condom last night.

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monster condom

When you take a shit so large it dwarfs over your dick, you wrap a shower curtain around it and tear that person's rectum open. Stretch it front to back.

#monster #condom #dwarf #shower #curtain

"Bruh i gave that guy a great monster condom session! He waddled for a week! Poor dog...

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parent condom

noun - A shame barricade created by parents to protect their hormonal teenage sons from doing the "Bad Touch" to other parents' daughters.

Also, an effective contraceptive.

Parent Condom: "Oh, look here he is at 6 running around the yard naked.... Look at the little pipi!!!"

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nebraska condom

The action of pissing into an unused condom, freezing said condom until solid, then using it to pleasure your partner.

Johnny: I think I'm gonna give my gal a Nebraska Condom tonight!
Cody: But I thought you were gay!?!?
Johnny: Oh you're right! My bad!
Joey: Who else but Johnny?

Noodle Condom

The little spice packet that comes with Ramen noodles.

Dude, did you just empty the whole content of my Noodle Condom into your own Ramen?