I have a boyfriend.

women who think everyone likes her and has a boyfriend

jake: pstt what the question for number 6
jess: i have a boyfriend dont talk to me
jake: I DONT CARE WHAT THE ANSWER
jess: i have a boyfriend
jake: BITCH I DONT CARE YOU LOOK LIKE IF TRUMP AND MORGZ HAD A BABY AND TRIED TO HAVE SEX WITH MORGZ MAKING YOU
jess: Oh My God Im telliNg my boyfriend
jake: yeah ok
*later*
jess: that him he told me i looked ugly
kim: domt worry sweet baby i got this
kim: hey you dumbass you be talking about my girl
jack: huh?
kim: she mine
jack: ok you can have her shortie

kim: STOP THAT IT WE WILL FIGHT TO GET HER
jack: *kicks*
kim: WAAAAA YOU DIDNT HAVE TO HIT SO HARD WAAAAA
jack: you wanted a fight
jess: hello new boyfr-
jack: *slaps* no
kim: can we go back together please
jess: I have a boyfriend.

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have sex with me

A phrase I’m which people use when they want to have sex with someone and want to be outright and sexy.

Random guy on the street: Hello. How are you?

Random girl on the street: Come here. (Grab man’s collar) Let’s go back to my house.

AT HER HOUSE
Girl: HAVE SEX WITH ME!!!
Guy: OKAY! LET’S DO IT! I HAVE BEEN HORNY SINCE I MET YOU!

Then they have sex

116👍 32👎

I'll have a sandwich

When a conversation is going on around you that you don't quite understand or care about. Then someone asks for your fucking opinion.
BACKSTORY: An old lady is calling out 'nurse! nurse!' for fucking ages at a retirement home, which causes an old man to wake up and groggily say, "Huh what? Yeah i'll have a sandwich..." then fall back asleep.

University Lecturer: ...and that's why the principle states, in regards to microeconomics, that demand is infinate but resources are finite. What's your opinion on this Steve?
Steve: Yeah I'll have a sandwich *walks off*

14👍 2👎

shouldn't have said that

The split second after you've said something that you really shouldn't have said, specifically if it results in something bad.

Guy #1: You motherfucker!

Guy #2: What did you say?
Guy #1: Uh oh, shouldn't have said that.

30👍 6👎

you have fun with that

if you have a friend, and they do or have to go to something that you arent interested in.. you say "you have fun with that"

Matt: Damn, guess what.
Miles: Whats up?
Matt: I have to go to Chemistry Class for Summer School again.
Miles: you have fun with that matt.

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have a heart of gold

to be kind, caring and free of malice

His boss turned out to have a heart of gold in the end.

24👍 5👎

have a blast

A metaphor that you shouldn't ever take literally. It's true meaning is "to have lots of fun". The word 'blast' originates from big. So now, when you hear somebody say "Let's have a blast!", you won't have to wonder what they mean. Because, they're trying to tell you that the next following days are going to be fun!

Tomorrow, I'm going on a Summer trip to LA. Oh my god, we're also going to the beach and having cocktails! My life will have a blast!

1👍 3👎