lawn officer

(n.) -- the person who is in charge of keeping the lawn outside your home looking good and well-kept all year long

"At my house, I'm the lawn officer. I don't get paid, but my wife gives me a big hug and a kiss every time I mow the lawn and rake the leaves."

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Office Turtle

1.) A person who influences those around him in a work environment by being immature, inconciderate, rude, loud, argumentative, and/or distractive to those around them.

2.) Someone who "trolls" others around himself/herself while they themselves are supposed to be working.

1.)The Secretary of Defense spends all her time office turtling.

2.) "Jenny is being such an office turtle."
"I agree; she keeps bothering me while I'm trying to work."

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Oval Office

All United States president’s coming together to sit on my face for one glorious afternoon

Come here Joe! Come complete the Oval Office!

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Office Assaulter

This is the name given to the person in your office, who no one really likes, that always finds a way to cop an unwanted feel.

While I was working quietly at my desk Kevin came up behind me and started to rub my back, I was so disgusted. He is such an Office Assaulter!

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I'm in the Office

If you know this phrase then your probably on the phone with Luigi right now. He seems to use this to deflect the awkward of notion of looking down and seeing his unfortunately small sized man junk. He thinks this this phrase is whimsical and funny. However as fasicious as it may be it is unsanitary to talk on the phone while defacating, and rude to talk to anyone while in the act of pushing feces out of your ass.

Cole: *answers* Hey
Luigi: Hey what's up?
Cole: Just got home, you?
Luigi: I'm in the Office
Cole: Why the fuck do you always call me when your taking a shit.
Luigi: *thinks to self* "i have small man junk"

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Officer Down

the evolution of "shots fired" and its iterative extension "shots received." Instead of wasting time reflecting on the past, recipients of an insult now just report the crisis in real time.

"hanging out with you made me behave shamefully" "ouch. officer down"

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police officer

stupid fucking pig that chooses to work for a corrupt racist system that biases white hetero cis men💕

maia: #allcopsarebastards
ellie: periodt queen police officers r bitches

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