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The Ugly Barnacle

The best story ever written and told by Patrick Star

"I LOVE The Ugly Barnacle! Best story EVER!!"

by smobowser October 5, 2019


Genital Barnacles

Genital Barnacles or just the Barnacles, for short, is a mutant form of genital herpes named for its resemblance to actual marine barnacles. You will know you’ve got the Barnacles when your herpes sores become calcified and start building small colonies. Because of its calcified nature, Genital Barnacles is often hard to get rid of and can become very uncomfortable. Seek help if… the barnacles don’t go away after 2 weeks, you’ve spread your barnacles to multiple partners; you’ve got more barnacles than the hull of the Queen Mary. Barnacles often run rampant on college campuses and in lesbian communities. The disease is often spread through scissoring, and if not treated quickly, Genital Barnacles can morph into its more malignant state known as Genital Coral; if this happens, seek help immediately. Like the Ebola virus, the source of barnacles is unknown, but it is thought to originate somewhere on the Boston College campus.

Bitch I'm not touching you until you get those Genital Barnacles scraped.

by Frank Hillerman February 3, 2008

62👍 12👎


fart barnacle

Chunks of fecal matter that stick to the side of the toilet after an explosive fart. This usually happens during the course of a massive dump.

What a dump! Those fart barnacles are never coming off!

by NoodleDoodler February 7, 2014

7👍 2👎


Beef Barnacles

A disease riddled cock. Like barnacles on the hull of a boat, it's all cankered up with venereal/genital warts.

The last time I banged a street whore I ended up with beef barnacles.

by Eaton Holgoode April 7, 2017

1👍 1👎


barnacle-head

Somebody who is so slow, dense and vacuous that they are easily compared to the stationary parasitic marine organism (used in Spongebob Squarepants)

"Josie is such a barnacle-head, she got an 800 on the SAT's."

by TheBrad June 5, 2007

88👍 21👎


cunt barnacle

female version of genital warts

Hey man you get with Lisa?

Naw, that bitch had the cunt barnacles.

Oh so nasty!

by K.N.N. November 12, 2008

40👍 9👎


Barnacle Head

Barnacle head is a term used by Spongebob's gang and is technically a swear word in Bikini Bottom.

Hey barnacle head. You suck ass

by Clover395 June 1, 2020

12👍 3👎