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A portmanteau of Maury Povich with the words Ho and Bitch. A woman with a litter of illegitimate children from different men,(usually fat and black,but also trashy white,a few hispanic, but NEVER asian), that has no idea in the world who her baby's fathers may be because she has been inseminated more times than her memory allows her to remember. An utterly insatiable nymphomanic. She is usually dirt poor and uneducated and is know in her hometown as the neighborhood slut, whore, hood-rat, hoochie, ho, etc.. She always claims to be 100% positive that a certain man is her babies father just so she can get more welfare money and child support,but she knows in her mind that there is a 1 in 10 chance at best.
From the Maury Povich Show.
Jamal: "Yo Dee! Hook me up with your cousin Shawneeq. Babe girl be lookin good!"
Dee: "You sure about that! She gots like 10 kids from different dads, and I think she's pregnant."
Jamal: "I didn't know she was such a Maury HoBitch! But still lemme get her number. She can't get pregnant twice!
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When two males engage in sexual activity with a female, and they both bust nuts inside of her. Then when the slut err ... female, realizes she's pregnant she won't know who the baby daddy is.
Man, me and my boy Maury Poviched that hoe, and now she don't know which one of us is the baby's daddy
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The Maury Effect:
The percentage certain that any given "ho" is that a particular "tool" is her "baby daddy" is directly and inversely proportionate the likelihood that said "tool" is in fact the father.
Example:
The Maury Effect:
Ho: *shouting* " 120% sure Wongjohn is MY baby daddy!"
Maury: "Wongjohn is NOT the father!
Ho: *runs from stage and throws self on groung*
Analysis: Because said "ho" was 120% certain WongJohn was the father, there was a 120% lieklihood that he was NOT the father.
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A bunch of men jack off into a bowl and stir it up with a spoon, then a girl comes and they put a funnel in her and pour it in her. Called "Maury Roulette" because it explains so many of the cases on Maury (TV Show)
Dude: "Ifa buncha dudes jacks off in like uh saucer bowl, den stirs it up wid a spoon. An a girl come and be like with a funnel an dey pours it in her pu.. uuh.... vaginas, an she have a baby... WHO DA DADDY?"
You: Well kid, that's Maury Roulette!
A guy who is so hardcore feminist it's to the point of being almost nauseating. His favorite theme is the paternity test, and he always coddles the girls and is mean to the men, even the men that are the right (yes, it DOES happen).
Maury Povich is almost out of tampons.
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Chilean slang for cucumber penile disfunction.
"That weon qlo owes me 5 bucks."
"Why don't you ask him for a refund?"
"Nah, I'm praying to El Santo Niño de Atocha for him to grow a nelson mauri."
When lifes troubles come i whether it be battling with your sexuality, or simple maternity test. Just go and watch Maury, he make life a little better.
Thing 1: I need help with my math homework.
Thing 2: Here take it to Maury.