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Prescott, AZ

Prescott: A charmingly tiny town with breathtaking views...and that's about it. It's fun to visit, but I would not recommend living in this veritable hell-hole. The town rolls up the sidewalks at 9 pm: after this, you can go to Denny's, Whataburger, or Wal-Mart - the only 24-hour venues in town. The mall offers limited shopping; the restaurants offer scarce variety; and if you're looking for cultural diversity, it isn't here.

The education system is appalling, at best. The administration at the high school is essentially a dictatorship run by incompetent rubes with little to no wisdom or expertise.

There is absolutely nothing to do, with the exception of sex and drugs. Thus, the high pregnancy rate and rampant meth use.
Yes, the views are lovely and when I lived there, I enjoyed hiking in the Dells. But you can't go hiking every day, and the snow is annoying rather than beautiful when the snow plows take almost all day to get to your side of town because we only have a couple snow plows.

Also, the town is quickly filling up: property rates are soaring through the roof because there isn't enough housing for all the people. Traffic has become unbearable, and Prescott drivers and inimitably horrible.

"Prescott, AZ, a town that gets snow almost EVERY YEAR, sold all of the snow plowing equipment to Flagstaff a few years back."

by PirateGold July 2, 2006

62πŸ‘ 49πŸ‘Ž


Phoenix, AZ

The second worse place to live in America. Full of people who think they are better than everyone and who flee their hometowns for greener (drier) pastures.

Phoenix, AZ is for pussies.

by Walleye November 6, 2007

183πŸ‘ 206πŸ‘Ž


Gilbert, AZ

(n) Pronounced; Gil-bear
Gilbert, AZ is located southeast of Phoenix and is the largest town in the US, because they refuse to take the name of city. On average, Gilbert has a Howie-Rating of 7 out of 8. Depending on the day and amount of women on the streets. Has semi-frenchinese roots and is home to Luis Gonzalez.

I'm goin down to Gilbert, AZ man. How bout you?

by Howie II September 10, 2007

19πŸ‘ 17πŸ‘Ž


Phoenix, AZ

The Capital city of Arizona - one of the last states to become a state, because it took forever for the rest of the US to massacre the resident population of natives. Phoenix is population-wise extremely small, but so sprawled out it has become the US's largest city area-wise. Subsequently, the idiot city planners of Downtown Phoenix decided to make a fucking mess of the city, not anticipating the growth, making it a nightmare to move from one block to the other, and forgetting to get proper taxis and such. Instead, there is an overpriced light rail that is more or less the governor's toy.

Phoenix is conveniently placed in the damn center of the state, cranking out many ignorantly stupid patriots that are obsessing over border problems, even though they don't live remotely close to the border. It's probably the heat screwing with their heads anyways, since the temperature here can melt the tar in the asphalt. Speaking of which, there's actually vegetation here, surprisingly, but almost all of them are spiky to touch, such as palo verdes or cacti. anything external to the aforementioned plants and a bunch of spiky shrubs is most likely crops planted in the worst place to do so.

Really, there's no example to compare Phoenix, AZ to because no other city is as screwed up as we are.

by friedarizonian December 25, 2010

67πŸ‘ 78πŸ‘Ž


Surprise, AZ

A west suburb where families who can’t afford Scottsdale go to live and fight off all the old people from sun city grand

Surprise, AZ is a good place to raise a family if you like being surrounded by golf carts and old people.

by Yourmamaisallama August 7, 2019

5πŸ‘ 1πŸ‘Ž


Anthem, AZ

Housing development north of Phoenix, highest crime rate on earth.

death rate per day-0

Birth rate per day- 401

planned community gone right, beat out Heaven on the "Best Place to Live" award, and has the record for highest amount of love at first sights and happy marriages in an hour (45,921, note female population is only around 42,000)

site where Jesus is buried to remind us that he lives in our hearts and will never be forgotten <3. Home of 98% of happiness on earth.
"you goin to Anthem, AZ! Yippy, I will pack the Bibles and picnic baskets!"

Anthem, AZ = happiness :)

by TypicalRacistMoFo March 23, 2010

17πŸ‘ 16πŸ‘Ž


Chandler, AZ

This is a place where dreams go to die. Upon arrival, the citizens of Chandler collect your soul and keep it in a jar in the Town Hall. It often has a black hole effect on one's best friend. In short, Chandler, AZ is hell, in fact when you die, if you don't get into heaven, you pop up back here.

"Its going to be like Chandler, AZ, when you have to spend a week with you grandma man"

by Paul Fitsgerald the third October 29, 2010

40πŸ‘ 49πŸ‘Ž