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A human sub-species also known as homo-inferior. They plan to conquer the world by lowering the nations IQ to single didgit numbers, like themselves. They do this by subjecting those around them to monotonus rap music and brandnames. They are braindead, almost zombie like. They are currently hatching a co-plot to ruin the English language through Abreveation and talking like they havn't got a tongue.
(phonetics) "welw den mush, init dat way den bruv! CHIKEN LAY AN EEEEG BOI!"
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Someone who constantly wears the same black tracksuit over and over again. They stand in the street intimidating everyone with 3 litres of white lightening and shouting "braaaaaap"
me: errr look at that chav over there, what a tramp. I shouldnt look for too long or they might threaten to pop a cap in my ass
chav: got a cig mate?
pedestrian: oh no sorry.
chav2: lend us 2p m8
pedestrian: ok?
chav: cum on den
pedestrian: im sorry?
chav2: who sed ya could talk dik ed
pedestrian: erm?
chav3,4,5 and 6: fight, fight, fight
pedestrian: im just walking home
chavette: ya takin da piss
pedestrian:listen im jus walking home, whats ya problem
all chavs: oooooooh
chav:cum on den
pedestrian: erm? *walks to chav*
all chavs: shit *run off*
pedestrian: erm?
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a chav is a person who is a complete twat and goes around terrorising people. the girls wear/look like : trackies, usually pregnant, soon to be pregnant, or already has a child/children. they wear tacky gold necklaces of a clown or doll. either that or "MASSIV" gold chains. the hands of a chavette are usually heavily adourned with gold rings or soverings which are absolute bollocks. the shoes chavettes like to wear are K Swiss, Lacoste, Fred Perry or some other bag of wank bollocks. The jackets they wear are either Berghaus, Helly Hansen or some other "designer" make. their faces are caked in make up to hide the uglyness and the hair is heavily straightened with the hottest straighteners you can get. possibly GHDs. the girls always accuse perfectly normal, cool people, such as grebs or emos, of "givin them evils". i get several people at school saying to me, "what u lookin at" or my personal favourite, "why wer u givin me evils in PE." OH MY FUCKNIG GOD. there is no rest. the boys wear trackies, thick woolly socks which their trackies are tucked into. they wear the same shoes and coats as the girls. also reebok, and adidas, nike and other sports shoes are worn. the boys will usually ask out girls who are lovely people, but not quite "a fit bird". i have had people ask me out before and it is so fake. it's pretty obvious these people have nothing better to do. the boys will leer at girls and call people such as emos, or alternatives, "slags". i am still trying to figure out why. the hangouts of these fucktards are mcdonalds, parks where they get adults or their older "rock hard" siblings to buy them some cheap cider which is consumed here. or bus shelters, street corners, long busy roads at night time. *trust me, i hate walking down my road in the evening*. urm i don't really know what else to say apart from they will spit on/at you if they see you on the street. and have no education. no decent family. will leave school with no or extremely poor GCSEs. wont/dont go to college/university. if they have a job it should be cleaning up horse muck. oh sweet, sweet revenge. chavs ARE the muck and constantly think about sex. they always want girls to get their tits/minge out on webcam and will shove you if they see you at school. they use the word "grog" which means, "to spit" and will pea shoot at you. if you do not know what pea shoot means, it is when a tube of some sort, usually what pens come in, have a piece of chewed up paper which has actually been in the chav's trampy, groggy, fillingd'up mouth. they spit the piece of paper at you. it CAN stick in your arm and this is extremely tramp. also beware, if you are in class, they may throw pieces of rubber/eraser at you. AVOID THESE WANKERS AT ALL COSTS. they terrorise the innocent, take drugs, get "E'd up" at weekends . the most common things chavs say are,
"what the fuck u lookin at"
"shes a right bird. look at them tits. ad easy shag that."
"ner marrt. she wudnt go anywer ner ya. ur way out 'er league"
"am i bollox"
"u go' a light?"
"save us 2's"
"save us 3's"
"can i shag ya"
"a shagged ya mam"
"ma mam is a rite slag"
"do u get E'd up at the weekend then"
"fuckin sweaty grebo" *SOOO ORIGINAL...*
"stupid emo go sit in a corner and slit ur wrists" *ORIGINAL AS FUCK....*
"ur a fuckin ugly RAT" *note the emphasis on rat*
well that's about it. oh and tons of chavs live on the nunny. shithole of grimsby (n)
chavs wear trackies, tacky jewellery and nick bikes from kids back yards.
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The lowest common denominator.
chavosity is a disease, taking spinless hosts and uniting them with a shared consiousness.
Chavs number in groups ranging from 1 to 10 kids and adults, wearing failing brand names such as "nickelson" mckenzie and fake burberry.
each chav sports an idiosyncratic personality and a severe inferiority complex, as well as many insecurities shrouded beneath their cocked baseball caps.
their language is sub english and they tend to pronounce words with syllablles missing such as 'wi'ed' (wicked) or 'orrite' (alright)
Generally of a hostile nature they tend to fight in groups or call their big brothers in when the odds outweigh theirs.
also reffered to as townies or neds depending on the region in which you live (or how far the virus has spread)
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Also known as homo inferior mushtus. The latest evolution of the common Rat.
Generally a pack animal, chavs are only to be found alone when serving "blackup" duty for a fight or theft. Otherwise there will be at least five of them, ranging in ages from 8-24.At least half of them will be related in some way, leading one to presume that the chav culture encourages inbreeding. This pack is not to be underestimated, as if angered it is quite capable of taking down a stunned 3 year old, if it has the element of surprise.
Standard attire has already been mentioned multiple times in these definitions, so I do not believe I need to elaborate there.
Years of self-enforced isolation from the rest of the cultured world has lead to the chav race developing it's own primitive culture. In this ideology, tacky "celebrity" icons are awarded the same devotion as demi-gods, when there only claim to fame is either through making an appalling R&B track, posing naked for newspapers, or appearing on a dubious reality TV show such as big brother.
The pack leader of a group of chavs can easily be recognised: usually the oldest, he (chavs are patriachal) will always be smoking a 2-week old fag, will be so laden with fake gold "bling" that he will barely be able to walk, and will be wearing the most realistic looking fake sports gear. The Head Chavs word is law in such a pack, though sometimes there are contests for leadership.
Such contests are highly ritualised. They will inevitably start with a slur on the head chavs parentage. The head chav will then reply "you wot mush?" or something similar, and will walk threateningly towards the other chav, indicating that the challenge is accepted. The two chavs will stand together, looking straight into each others face, trying to use sheer body mass to push the other one down. Eventually, one chav will have to use his arms to force the other one back, to avoid being overpowered. Insults will continue up untill this stage. Once the pushing back stage has occured, overall victory will be granted to the chav who can "nut" the other one quickest. Such contests of strength are very common.
The chav language is a crue facsimile of the English dialect of the region they inhabit. The words have been twisted beyond all recognition, and often used to mean the complete opposite of what they used to mean. For example, chavvettes are often refered to as "fit" by male chavs, when they appear to have all the sex appeal of a dead haddock. Expletives, "innit", "like", and "yeah" are used instead of commas, full stops and other punctuation marks in the chav speech.
The government debates over this problem nearly every day, but so far no action has been taken. They can't decide whether to use Napalm, Nukes, flamethrowers, or just give each human citizen a shotgun and tell them "happy hunting".
Chav translator guide:
"You wot mush? Fuckin' bang you out!"
Means: "I believe that you have inadvertly insulted me. I am likely to take offence over this slur."
"And wot, you batty, wot you gonna fuckin' do abowt it?"
Means: I cannot think of something to say at this moment in time. Please wait untill my brain cell has aligned itself correctly and we may be able to talk.
"Oi, mate, you gorra lite?"
Means: I have accidently forgotten my cheap, inefficient lighter or packet of cut-price matches. Please can you help me, despite the fact I am 4 years to young to smoke.
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1) Person who does not believe in banks (as such, retains funds as gold plated jewellery)
2) Someone who believes they can go out about their everyday business wearing head-to-toe white without getting it dirty.
3) Someone who believes they are capable of assaulting others. (one who is mislead).
4) Someone who pretends to take drugs, but in fact cannot afford such a habit.
5) Someone who feels strongly against the artistic talents of the real world, and so create their own, self contained culture.
That chav is a monkey. (or) That chav belongs in a zoo.
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