¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Sorry, we couldn't find: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Sorry, we couldn't find: soul sand

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Sorry, we couldn't find: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Sorry, we couldn't find: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Sorry, we couldn't find: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Sorry, we couldn't find: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Sorry, we couldn't find: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Sorry, we couldn't find: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Sorry, we couldn't find: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Sorry, we couldn't find: Soul Sand

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Sorry, we couldn't find: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Sorry, we couldn't find: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Sorry, we couldn't find: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Sorry, we couldn't find: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Sorry, we couldn't find: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Sorry, we couldn't find: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Sorry, we couldn't find: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Sorry, we couldn't find: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Sorry, we couldn't find: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Sorry, we couldn't find: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Sorry, we couldn't find: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Sorry, we couldn't find: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Sorry, we couldn't find: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Sorry, we couldn't find: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Sorry, we couldn't find: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Sorry, we couldn't find: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Sorry, we couldn't find: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Sorry, we couldn't find: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Sorry, we couldn't find: soul sand

25👍 2👎

Couldn't manage a piss up in a brewery

When someone is so incompetent that they quite literally couldn't manage a piss up in a brewery

Person 1: "Ere, look at 'im ovver yonder"
Person 2: "does tha mean malc?"
Person 1: "Ay, that's 'im"
Person 2 "Ay, dunt trust 'im, 'e couldn't manage a piss up in a brewery"
Person 1: "Ta, fer that advice"

3👍 2👎

couldn't find his ass with two hands

Someone who does not have a clue about what is going on around them. A person that has to have jokes explained to them. Even worse, someone that acts as if they don't understand something even when they understand perfectly.

That jerkoff Devlin couldn't find his ass with two hands .

42👍 5👎

i couldn't give a rat's ass

An expression meaning I couldn't care a less or give a shit about something.

Worker: "I was late to work because my car broke down goddamit!"

Boss: "I couldn't give a rat's ass if you got anally raped this morning! You're fired!"

4👍 8👎

couldn't organise a killing in a slaughterhouse

Rather similar to the phrase 'Couldn't organise a piss-up in a brewery' though used in even less amusing and more wearisome circumstances. Generally used to describe management or any cack-handed effort at leadership when the job ought to be easy for a small subnormal child to do, particularly in an actual slaughterhouse, where everything breaks down constantly. Or livestock never turns up and everyone waits relentlessly.
Not a funny phrase, just sad.

The job is fucked (has gone to shit) as usual. Whist observing a manager running arround like a blue arsed fly, utterly devoid of any intellegent suggestion or decision and with an impending audit looming:
Employee 1:"bloody hopeless this lot"
Employee 2: "aye man, couldn't organise a killing in a slaughterhouse"
both laugh mirthlessly and each simultaniously though secretly wonder what their lives are about.

1👍 6👎

Couldn't create that product. Please try again.

i wonder what word you were trying to buy as a mug...

person: i want a mug
person: (writes racial slur)
website: mug (with the slur)
person: *clicks*
website: "Couldn't create that product. Please try again."
person (you): what does that mean?
welcome. that is why you're here.

7👍 1👎

You couldn't catch herpes in a whorehouse

A more sexually explicit version of, "You couldn't catch a cold", meaning that someone is not good at catching anything.

Wally was so non-athletic, he couldn't catch herpes in a whorehouse.

OR

Being pursued by bad guys: Can't you guys keep up? You couldn't catch herpes in a whorehouse!

1👍 1👎