nurse quacktitioner

A nurse who thinks she is a doctor.

Nurse: "I subscribe to professional medical journals! I am a nurse practitioner!!!"
Me: More like 'nurse quacktitioner' to me.

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wet nurse

Someone who breastfeeds a baby when its mother cannot.

I had a masectomy so my sister wet nursed little Johnny.

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head nurse

1. The lead nurse working on a shift.

2. The nurse with the dirtiest knees. Much more valuable and rare than definition 1.

1. The head nurse is coming to remove your catheter.

2. The head nurse relieved me of some pressure in my groin.

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Nurses tea

When freshly brewed tea is topped up with a splash of cold water (before or after the milk) to make it cool enough to drink straight away!

Called nurses tea as nurses don't have time to wait around for their tea to cool down!

Please would you make mine a nurses tea!

Or

Is this nurses tea? I don't have much time!

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nurse flick

When you have an erection in a hospital and the nurse flicks the penis to instantly turn it flaccid

Oh man, I was so embarrassed at the doctors the other day. I had a hard on in front of the doctor. They gave me the nurse flick and didn't mention it again.

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nursing school

the hardest most stressful shit one will ever go through in life.

"hey where has kathy been these past months?"
"oh, shes stuck in nursing school studying for the rest of her life."

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Nurse a boner

The process by which a man remains aroused for the purpose of using an erection at a later time.

Maintaining an erection through constant stimulation of the genitals, while avoiding ejaculation.

Jared woke up with morning wood, and decided to nurse a boner until he could get Jill to perform felatio on him.

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