Facebook wank

When you have a wank over a picture of someone on facebook. Generally frowned upon.

Person 1: I had a facebook wank yesterday.

Person 2: Really? That's pretty creepy.

58👍 18👎

Speed Wank

When you start masturbating, call from your bedroom to a parent and try to cum before they make it upstairs.

Boy:MUM!!!
10 seconds later..
Mum: Oh my god why did you call me here?!
Boy: i failed at the speed wank.

25👍 6👎

wank chops

A Term used to Describe a workmate or friend who has someway managed to piss you off or someone who has done something wrong.

"Oi wank chops look at the state of this!"

22👍 5👎

wank attack

When suddenly you get horny for no reason and your hands go down your pants and you wank by pure instinct.

His hands started to shake, and then dove down his pants. "Oh shit, I'm having a wank attack!" he wailed.

69👍 22👎

wank-pit

bed in which one masturbates. (see wank trough)

Jesus Christ was born in some fucking farmer's wank pit.

44👍 13👎

have a wank

to stimulate one's sexual organs single handily.

James dropped his pants and went to have a wank over trisha’s fat man ass.

Dave “stimulant” Stevens acquired a copy of “transsexual heartbreakers Vol #2” his good friend Lee suggested he should ” have a wank” which he executed and came twice.

81👍 29👎

victory wank

To masturbate furiously once you arrive home after winning an important soccer match.

Lorcan: are you playing poker in rorys tonight?
John: nope have soccer at 8
Lorcan: well he was talking about playing at 9.30ish
John: No can do, heading home straight after for a victory wank :D
Lorcan: or a "can't believe I missed all those chances" wank
John: ya that sounds more like it

30👍 8👎