I’m the best of all my friends you can call me an eli Hamblen
A retired quarterback that could be best described as mediocre at doing anything besides destroying the way-to-large dreams of the entitled Patriots fans
Bill Belichick: AHHH! My kryptonite ELI MANNING
Tom Brady: Come on coach let’s skiddadle
The most wonderful man you will ever meet. He is tall, has brown hair, has color-changing eyes, and is extremely funny and hot. He will always make you smile and is the best friend and boyfriend ever. He is unique and charming and will always think of you.
Person 1: Why are you smiling so much?
Person 2: It's Elie, he sent me the sweetest message!
The most handsome man of all time, he is as well renowned as having a penis of considerable length and circumference. Tall and muscular, his girlfriends can be counted on both hands; and his bisexual nature allows him to be of very good company to his friends during cold nights.
-Oh man, I can't even sit...
-What's up? Do you feel sore after a legs workout?
-Nah, It's just that Elie was sleeping over last time.
Elie is a man that has a huge, throbbing, massive horse cock and he’s really hot too
Omg! he has an elie-sized cock! He’s so hot!
The hottest woman in the world. Her proper title is “Mommy” and must always be used. Elie’s may appear small and inferior but they are very aggressive scary hot individuals. Every guy wants her, all girls want to be like her. They are queens of Passive aggressive. Also, they have horrible coffee taste, so if she likes a coffee you know right away it’s bad.
Anna: Hey Elie….
Elie: ummmmm sorry it seems you forgot how to properly approach me (stares aggressively)
(Anna gulps)
Anna: sorry, Mommy Elie