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An inability to commit to any engagement* earlier than mid afternoon due to grooming** requirements, preferably rising*** after 8-10 hours sleep. May involve a work of shame.
A Showgirl Morning includes adhering to a glamorous hair and makeup routine.
*Engagements frequently involve burlesque, socializing and dancing at vintage inspired events.
**Frequently involves 2 hour transformation including but not limited to wet setting hair, applying false lashes and red lipstick.
***May rise post sunset as determined by prior social activities and beauty sleep requirements of the individual.
See you at 2pm darling, Im 'having a showgirl morning....
Having to masturbate in a cup at 7:00am because that's the time your wife made with the clinic to see if your guys are swimming good.
I'll be late for work tomorrow because I have to do a morning throw. My wife thinks my boys are lazy. Man I hope they have big booty porn!
use of toilet bowl for #2 in the morning
I am craving some super-spicy-makes-you-scream-on-the-MORNING-SEAT kinda food.
I feel like a King when I'm on my MORNING SEAT.
When you wake up in the morning, before your partner in bed has woken up, you hear him still snoring as you get out of bed.
Always morning snoring to start the day!
when you wake up in the morning and the blood is like lead in your veins, the severity differs from person to person, for some it might just be hard lifting or working out right away, for others it makes it impossible to stand, button your jeans, or even pull the cap off of toothpaste.
Jim: "Wanna go lift today?"
John: "Sure, but I'm only gonna be able to do half my normal weight for the first 30 minutes"
Jim: "Why?"
John: "Morning weakness is a bitch"
When a man wants to have sex in the morning but his partner doesn't.
I woke up with morning wood but she told me to go back to sleep. She had morning won't.
The act of giving oral sex to a woman after a long session of vaginal intercourse, so that you get a mouthful of delicious oaty goodness.
"Man, you've got something on your collar there."
"Oh, sorry, I must have spilled some of my morning porridge"
"Oh dude, Nice
*high five*