Random
Source Code
Random
A wooden burberry bat known as the "chav bat"
used by the ladies to bat away the chavs as they come at you from behind during a night out in a club.The batting away of these lads is known as "chav batting!"
Out with the girlies dancing away to a bit of speed garage, shoulder bobbing and riding the pony. Then you feel something grap you from behind and its a some lad rubbing and pushing his groin into you. Nice!! lol You reach for your chav bat and bat him away shouting "erm thanks but no thanks!"
Ladies there is now a foldable chav bat, that fits nicely into your handbag!!
54👍 11👎
To fully understand chav watching you have to know what a chav is, when you do you may understand the facination many people have in these strange creatures.
To be a Chav is to be one of the most base forms of mamalian life on this planet thus chav watching is akin to observing a single celled organism in a petree dish.
Chav watching envolves going to a McDonalds, sporting goods shop or for the more fool-hardy chav spotter a council estate and observing these strange devolved heaps of puss going about thier day to day lives (if you could call their existance a life).
A word of warning if chav watching on a council estate and you spot a group of 8 or more chavs you will be lucky to leave with all 4 limbs.
Guy No.1: What you up to tonight?
Guy No 2: I'm going Chav watching
Guy No 1: Holy shit dude are you going with an armed escort?
Guy No 1: No
Guy No 2: Are you at least taking a small amount of naplam with you?
Guy no 1: No
Guy No 2: Rather you than me!
12👍 1👎
Anything that is obviously cheap and disgusting. Only chavs cannot see how minging it is.
- Eww, look at that Fred Perry jacket!
- I know! It's chav-tastic!
57👍 12👎
One who opposes the chav culture and/or their ideals; often feel strongly about such matters.
Chav: "Ya mum! Bling bling"
Anti-chav : "What a dick."
94👍 23👎
A Generic Chav is basically your general chav. They have no personality whatsoever, they wear the usual chav apparel. Such as: Burberry cap, all black tracksuit, Black Nike Airmax’s. Usually the chav has only have 2 hairstyles to choose from. The limit in hairstyle choices comes from their low intelligence levels, they don’t have the cognitive capacity to think of other hair styles.
The two hair styles available are. 1) complete skinhead 2) grade zero on back and sides and short hair on top (kinda like they asked for a skinhead, but walked out of the barbers halfway through) - this is where the name Generic Chav comes from, when there’s a group of them together with the same haircut, they all look the same.
Typical chav/Generic Chav habitats:
- Outside McDonald’s
- Outside most corner shops
- Random street corners at night when it’s raining and freezing cold.
- Most football matches.
They often have a super power that most men do not have. They have the ability to pull/attract some of the most attractive women. Some of the most attractive women in your town have boyfriends that are Generic Chavs.
The super power of the chav can overpower attributes that usually make men very unattractive. Such as:
-Being on the dole
- walking around with their hands down their trousers.
-Spending the little money they have on weed. —Phleming and spitting on the street every 30 seconds.
- Having little to no qualifications.
-“She’s pretty, easy to talk to, intelligent. I think I might ask her out”
-“No point mate, she’s going out with a generic chav”
The usual work (shoplifting) attire of Chavs and Pikeys, of all the same brand of sports clothes (note: actually participating in sport other than bare knuckle fisticuffs is not the objective of the attire) and as a rule is never a mixture of brands or types of clothes.
also known as a shell suit (Chav Suit, Pikey Suit).
Usual suit types are Adidas, Reebok and Nike, looked down upon are the 4 stripe Adidas look alike ripoff suits, worn mostly by Northern Chavs and Pikeys.
chav suit pikey suite pikey suit chav adidas nike reebok coleen mcloughlin rooney
A Job Centre, a place where chavs congregate on a bi-weekly basis to confess their utter inability to get a job and pray to receive a Holy Handout from the government.
"He's always hanging about outside the chav church drinking stella"
"He's been going to that chav church for weeks now and they just won't answer his prayers, so now he's going to take up burglary instead"
47👍 10👎