distinguished old gentleman sitting on two duffel bags

Term for "cock and balls", made popular by Murderface on Metalocalypse.

"Normally, that painted dildo would piss me off, but, lately, I've made friends with a distinguished old gentleman sitting on two duffel bags"

12👍 6👎

you can just sit there, pissing and shitting yourself

An expression, commonly used in a negative way in order to tell someone to go fuck off. It can also be used in a "you know what?" kind of manor, as an exclamation or frustration. It has the added benefit of insulting how the recipient spends his free time, and is synonymous with "you just sit on your ass all day"

Bill: "Hey, you wanna hang out today?"

Jon: "Nah I'd rather just stay home and watch a movie."

Bill: "Fine then, you can just sit there, pissing and shitting yourself all day."

Fred: "Hey, we're gonna play some basketball, wanna come?"

Joe: "I just had a really bad break up, I'd rather be alone."

Fred: "Well you can just sit at home, pissing and shitting yourself while we have fun ya douche."

do you still sit when you pee?

What one says when you think the other person should have learned how to do or already done by now. It's used as an insult to tell the person theyre pathetic.

50 year old: I've never had sex.

30 year old: Do you still sit when you pee?

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25 year old: I havent passed my drivers test.

16 year old: Do you still sit when you pee?

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9 year old: I dont know how to ride a bike.

6 year old: Do you still sit when you pee?

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8 year old: I dont know how to tie my shoes.

5 year old: Do you still sit when you pee?

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German Guy: Ich habe die USA eingewandert und ich habe seit zwanzig Jahren höre und ich weiß nicht, wie noch Englisch zu sprechen. (I've immigrated to the USA and I've been hear for 20 years and I still dont know how to speak english.)

USA Guy who understands German: Do you still sit when you pee?

10👍 9👎

Who would you rather sit next to on a bus?

A game that consists of posing the question: "Who would you rather sit next to on a bus?" Then two options are provided, fictional characters, prominent figures, or acquaintances. The person(s) who the question then selects from the choices and then poses a new scenario. Different scenarios are possible but is usually that the bus ride is of medium duration of length, too long to go without acknowledging the other parties presence, but too short to create a meaningful bonding experience.

Who would you rather sit next to on a bus? . . .
Rep. Joe Wilson or the cast of the Jersey Shore?
Charlie Sheen or Emilio Estevez?
Oliver Cromwell or Andrew Jackson?

4👍 5👎

fuck me twice sit me down

this is when you fuck a dirrty girls so hard her teeth get loose. usually there is bleeding of the vagina and passing out iss always possible.

hey fuck me twice sit me down.

4👍 24👎

I WANT KYLIE TO SIT ON MY FACE! pls?

PLS KYLIE SIT ON MY FACE

I WANT KYLIE TO SIT ON MY FACE! pls? Pls?

6👍 18👎

Go sit in timeout and think about what you have done.

A common thing teachers say in primary school, when you upset someone or hurt someone.
It can also be used when you are TALKING WHEN THE TEACHER IS (which btw I have not done) ;)

You pull Bob’s hair.
Bob is crying like crazy.
Me: It wasn’t me!
Teacher: Say sorry NOW!!
Me: Uh, sorry Bob
Teacher: Now go sit in timeout and think about what you have done.
Reluctantly, you go and sit in the ‘special timeout chair’ that isn’t different from the rest of the blue chairs.