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Opioid withdrawal that is brought on by abuse of the plant Mitragyna Speciosa (otherwise known as kratom).
Kratom contains the naturally occuring drugs Mitragynine and 7-OH-Mitragynine, both of which are mu-opioid agonists. Because of this activity on opioid receptors, this herbal drug induces short but euphoric highs as well as a pretty nasty withdrawal if use is discontinued after a few months of daily usage. This withdrawal is known as “Kratom flu.”
Some users say it isn’t as bad as the dope flu you get from oxy or heroin, some say it’s worse. In my experience it’s pretty shitty either way.
Friend: Why are you yawning bro?
Me: My state made mitragynine a schedule I controlled substance so I think I’m coming down with the kratom flu.
Friend: Try ordering some tianeptine because that’s somehow still perfectly legal!
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A mix between the current outbreaks of Bird (Avian) Flu and Swine Flu, if you are unlucky enough to catch both, it is known (conveniently) as Armageddon Flu, because if you catch it (scientifically proven you CAN catch both at once) you will die. No chance about it. Death is guaranteed.
Catch Armageddon flu and find out.
Beware. You won't live long, but hey, if you live long enough, you could be a scientific guinea pig and earn a lot of cash for your family.
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Human immunodeficiency virus (HIV) causes acquired immunodeficiency syndrome (AIDS) and interferes with the body's ability to fight infections. The virus can be transmitted through contact with infected blood, semen, or vaginal fluids.
You've been sick and coughing for weeks and it sounds like it's getting worse. Are you sure you don't have the Freddy Mercury Flu?
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When someone with the influenza virus inserts his penis into a healthy recipient's mouth and holds it there for at least five seconds. It is only considered a Reverse Flu Shot if the recipient gets the flu within 48 hours.
Spencer: Here, put this under your tongue.
Cindy: What is it?
Spencer: My dick. I'm giving you a reverse flu shot.
Cindy: Oh, haha. Cool.
Same as yellow fever.
That dude has come down with asian bird flu -- he is interested only in asian girls.
The general run-down state a female finds herself in after a long weekend sniffing cocaine, or Bolivian marching powder, with symptoms such as drowsiness, headache, nausea, blocked nose, sore throat, chills, fever, general discomfort, which may mimic those caused by the influenza virion but are actually the downside effects of a weekend of high hedonism.
Female 1: Where's Jen tonight?
Male: She's still in bed with a bad case of Bolivian bird flu after hitting it hard last weekend.
What happens when someone hooks up with an overweight person on a one-night stand.
Aaron: "Did you see that porker Howard just left with?"
Becky: "Yeah, he's caught the swine flu."
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