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Literally the most breathtaking kind girl I've ever met in my lifetime. She's the girl who laughs at your cringy jokes and replies with worse jokes. She's lovely and one of the kindest people ever. Do not ever take her for granted though. She's the type of girl who'll love you to your very last flaw and mistake, but once she's done with you, she's done. She knows what she's worth. She doesn't look down on others and has the kindest, sweetest, and most powerful soul ever. It really sticks to you. She's the type of person that doesn't back down from a challenge no matter how scared she is. She's woman empowerer literally so strong-willed and thoughtful. Before you know it, you'll be loving her with every breath you take in and every time she smiles at you in the eye. You'll be missing and regretting. Jaeda Johnson is the most amazing person ever.
I love you, Jaeda Johnson. You don't know that I do, but I do. I swear to god that I do.
-ly
12:45PM MINNESOTA TIME
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Kit Johnson was the name of a British servant who lived from 1893-1936. He was the first person to be used a 'Gimp' by the King Edward VII. They used sheep skin and cow leather to create the infamous 'Gimp Suit' known today. Kit was forced to partake in violent homosexual acts, including rough anal sex and frequent felacio. Kit Johnson was found dead in his hotel room on March 4th 1936 due to contracting AIDS from his homosexual relations.
Shaye: "What's Kirsten doing tonight?"
Trisha: "He's in A&E getting blood tests for his AIDS. Heard he got fucked in the ass all night"
Shaye: "Wow. What a Kit Johnson."
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Sam johnson is a person who plays video games and argue with their friends
Hey that's sam johnson over there he plays overwatch
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When a man's pubic hair is much too bushy, and his dick is much too small for men to find it during an oral roberts.
dude, I'd love to give you an oral roberts, but you've got a jungle johnson.
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A tool used by 'railroad engineers' (now archaic on modern locomotives and loading docks)
1) A Johnson Bar, aka "J"-bar, is a lever-dolly; (a wheeled prybar having an extended handle and a deep reverse-beveled nose-iron), which is used to jockey heavy apparatus into position.
2) A hand lever with several distinct positions and a positive clutch to hold the lever in the selected position. The positive clutch is typically activated with a spring-loaded squeeze handle on the lever so that only one hand is needed to release the clutch, move the lever, then reengage the clutch.
3) Sometimes used in a sexual context since a 'j bar' looks like...you know.
4) If used would be considered an archaic term except you can still purchase them in tool catalogs.
girl: Geez you really know what to do with that 'johnson bar'.
guy: It's is really hard when you have a name like 'Willie', 'John', 'Crapper', or 'Quisling'. Everyone makes a big joke out of it. Kind of like being a 'Li' from China or 'Smith' from the US. However, Archimedes said, "Give me a big enough lever, and I will move the world."
The US census says that the 20 most common names are: Smith 1.01%, Johnson 0.81%, Williams 0.70%, Jones 0.62%, Brown 0.62%, Davis 0.48%, Miller 0.42%, Wilson 0.34%, Moore 0.31%, 0. Taylor 0.31%, Anderson 0.31%, Thomas 0.31%, Jackson 0.31%, White 0.28%, Harris 0.28, Martin 0.27%, Thompson 0.27%, Garcia 0.25%, Martinez 0.23%, Robinson 0.23%, Clark 0.23%, Rodriguez 0.23%, Lewis 0.23%, Lee 0.22%, Walker 0.22% Hall 0.20%, Allen 0.20%, Young 0.19%, Hernandez 0.19%, and King 0.19%
girl: Damn, I know what you mean my name is Taylor Willamina Martinez-Johnson.
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"My Bombaclot Johnson don't work, you see?"
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!. Anal Johnson: Man who works in the saloon and keeps things nice and clean.
2. The Anal Johnson: guy who inserts his toe in your anus, while you are blowing him, in an unexpected fashion.
1. Bob: Did that guy just spit in the beer mug he's cleaning? What the fuck??
Brandon: Shhhh. Thats Anal Johnson, he don't like it dirty or obscene...and he owns a fucking shot gun.
2. Bob: What the fuck are you doing down there, the Anal Johnson??
Brandon: I'm just trying to make it better for you. (weeps)
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