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a person who never misses a chance to post a "R.I.P. insert name" status update in Facebook as soon as any celebrity dies.
My News Feed is full of fucking Facebook necrologists updating me on Amy Winehouse's death for 38th time in the last 2 hours.
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Facebook Paranoia - Noun. - unfounded or ill-founded fear of (1) unauthorized editing of one's Facebook (FB) account characterized by unflattering profile pics or socially deplorable "interests" by hackers or prankster friends; (2) misinterpretation of FB communication due to lack of voice inflection, especially in private messaging; (3) seizure and hoarding of drunken/out-of-context photos by others for future blackmail; (4) being caught in a lie when your off-FB conversations are countered by another's cognizance of your FB information; (5) unintentionally revealing oneself as a stalker by acknowleging awareness of another's interests or recent activities only noted on FB, especially when involving a crush/casual hook-up;
Facebook paranoia situation 4 - John to friend while at gym: "Sorry I couldn't watch the game with you guys last night, I was putting nitro in the Mustang." Friend: "Dude, don't lie, I totally saw your girl's wall post to her friend that you were watching The Notebook last night with her and that you cried during the love-making scene."
Facebook paranoia situation 5 - Girl: "My friend and I were talking about going to a movie later this week, if you don't have to work maybe you can join us?" Boy: "Oh yeah, I've been wanting to see Zoolander too and I don't have to work Thursday!!" Girl: "Um....how'd you know.....?"
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Facebook balls refer to the harsh, rude things that people might say on Facebook that they wouldn't say in person.
Rob posted on Facebook that Larry's girlfriend is a total dog. He would have NEVER said that to his face. He's got some big FBB's (Facebook Balls). Then Larry posted back that he was gonna punch Rob in the face. The FBB's must be contagious.
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The unfortunate circumstance of your entire family joining the Facebook universe. - Often results in public internet humility and very wholesome pictures/statuses.
1: I just got a Facebook today!
--3 days later--
Mom: I made a Facebook!
Dad: I made a Facebook!
Brother: I made a Facebook!
Unknown Uncle: I made a Facebook!
Damn Facebook Lineage!
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The act or practice of de-friending people on Facebook, mainly due to excessive status updates. Although this may apply to the de-friending of individuals, it more commonly refers to going through one's "Friends" list and removing a relatively large number of people, such as people you met at a party once and haven't seen since, friends of exes, and high school classmates that you actually kind of hated.
I just did a Facebook audit and got rid of like fifty friends. I didn't even know who half of those assholes were.
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When someone dumps their significant other by changing their facebook relationship status instead of actually saying anything.
I'm not sure if Lottie knows that I dumped her yet. I gave her a facebook dump, but I don't think she's been online today.
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The embarrassing misinformation that goes out to all your friends when one of a couple edits their Facebook profile, and makes a change in relationship status that isn't echoed by their Facebook-listed lover. Suddenly 235 people learn that "Suzie and Sally ended their relationship" and the commiseration starts pouring in.
Honey, did you really leave your wife of ten years, or is that just a Facebook Breakup?
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