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dressing in a way that a somewhat sheltered catholic school kid would find extremely provocative, but a normal person would see as tame
the dress code for the dance was casual, so all the girls dressed jesus slutty
Something that emits ultraviolet radiation detectable to the human eye.
It's so dark in here...turn on the Jesus Emitter!
48👍 6👎
a.) a stoner, who is neither black, white, or asian, but all three.
b.) caroline.
girl: omfg, i hate her.
guy: stfu, it's jesus. roll her joint, you slut.
girl: FINE.
2👍 16👎
The secret ESRB rating for a game that has been critically acclaimed to be so violent that it's been rated JO, for Jesus Only.
"Hey did you hear that Manhunt 2 got an AO rating?" "Actually, it's been rated JO for Jesus Only, because if you are someone other then Jesus and you play it, then you are most likely to swallow your own head."
30👍 3👎
When you are driving around and you find that golden parking spot that is calling your name, as if Jesus were opening up the heavens to you in an 8'x16' space.
I was trying to find parking at the grocery store, and this jesus spot opened up right next to the entrance. I shouted to the heavens, "Sweet Jesus!" because I didn't have to go on an exodus across the parking lot to get my Depends for Men - my anus was ready to ignite!
41👍 5👎
When an attractive girl will not date you because you think that Christianity is hogwash.
Girl: Sorry but I want a relationship that is sanctioned by the Almighty God.
Friend: ooooh boy, you just got cockblocked by Jesus
67👍 10👎
A pill embodiment of Jesus that literally turns water into WINE!!!
Person A: Yo Ben you got that good shit?
Person B: Do you mean them Jesus Pills? That turns water into WINE!!!??
Person A: What else is there brosif?
17👍 1👎