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has a gf but doesn’t wanna get caught
girl: man i wanna fuvk
boy: you just tryna get me talkin😫
How come all my customers are men? It would sure be nice to meet a few chicks around this joint for a change.
after ordering Gooberberry sundaes
Spongebob: Oh waaaaiiiter!!! Waaaiiiiiiiter!! WaiTOR! Waiter!
Waiter: Why do I always get the nuts?
A child/teenager's most dreaded words to hear when travelling in the car driven by an irate/irritated parent or other authority-figure, and having asked either "Where are we going?" or "What are you going to do?" This hotly-uttered reply indicates that the adult is either feeling guilt-ridden about the fairness/appropriateness of whatever horrid/torturous action(s) are scheduled for the trembling youngster, or else he does not wish to debate/argue about whatever is in store for said wretched passenger, and so he does not want to reveal the details until the last minute.
When a parent/grownup snaps, "You'll find out when we get there!", usually it means one of four things:
(1) You'll be sent to either a doctor for painful/invasive "treatment", or suffer a long/boring lecture with one or more emotionless preachy counselors who don't seem to truly listen or even care about you personally.
(2) You'll be forced to perform one or more difficult/unpleasant/exhausting tasks.
(3) You'll be compelled to spend hours with one or more fellow humans who are of exceedingly undesirable-to-you nature, and/or who will be super-strict with you, feed you insipid/minuscule meals, forbid/severely limit fun activities, etc.
(4) You'll be subjected to horrendous punishment/discipline of some sort. Keep in mind, however, that physical punishment has been outlawed in many areas and is now widely frowned upon, so hopefully you will not actually get beaten, slapped, or otherwise physically traumatized. You may, however, be made to publicly apologize to a lot of people, stand for hours on a street-corner with a huge "I like to ___ whatever misbehavior you're accused of" sign, etc. Be sure to keep notes, take photos/video, and/or otherwise document all events as they occur, however; not only will this make your tormentors reluctant to incriminate themselves by "going too far" in their harshness, but it will also give you proof to file formal complaints with appropriate authorities afterwards if you feel that your treatment was undeserved/illegal/excessive.
Describes a person's tendency towards self-sabotage. In essence, it describes a behavioural pattern where someone undermines their own progress or success just when things seem to be going exceptionally well for them they self-destruct and will often hurt those around them.
As soon as his business was going really well, a CEO needlessly chose to set up a competing business behind his business partners back discreetly asking all the clients to pay into it. He got caught red-handed and lost everything. This happened many times in his personal and professional life. As soon as the bucket gets full they kick it over.
National Get Your Girlfriend Food Day is December 15th. So go to her favorite restaurant or Fast food place and go get her food!
Hey Chris today is National Get Your Girlfriend Food Day so you better bring her food”
Chris: Oh yeah! Good thinking
When someone is invading your personal space, their dick is on your counter. To get them to back off, you say "get your dick off my counter."
Dude, you need to back up off me! Get your dick off my counter!
Another way of saying, Even people who get most things wrong in their lives, sometimes get something right
The saying even blind squirrels sometimes get a nut can apply to tv political pundits lying to you all the time who unintentionally accidentally once in a blue moon say something politically true.