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A turd assault is when you go to take a crap, but all that comes out are turds. There is an absence of any long pieces of poop, and only short, round turds are present. Usually dissapointing for any male to experience.
My last toilet visit was just a turd assault. What a rip...
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Definition:
To hit someone with your sack more than 1 time in a row. Mostly done to the victim's face.
*****snoooooarrrrr******
Brian: "Dude, watch this..."
Andrew: "What are you going to do to Oliver? He's sleeping."
Andrew: "You'll see..."
a few seconds later
Brian: "SACK ASSAULT!"
Andrew: "YES! SO GOOD!"
Oliver: "ha..ha..ha...I'm gunna cut you"
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When someone is made to see something that cannot be unseen. An assault on your sense of sight.
Sara left her computer unlocked, so Alex set up an eye assault by changing her homepage to meatspin.
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A breach of government law code for persons under the age of 18 where a perpetrator flexes too much on his/her peers
This nigga flashing his gold chains and Gucci belt, his ass probably gonna get beaten.
Nah G, the po po finna jail his ass for flexual assault
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A game on Roblox where you form a dictatorship in shocking 360p. It's like risk but in Roblox.
Guy 1: Bruhhhh Poland is taking over my entire country
Guy 2: you playing Iron Assault?
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The acting of continually text messaging an acquaintance 5 or more times regarding a particular subject, typically resulting in irritation of the receiver.
"Jane is textually assaulting me over this school project. She needs to chill the fuck out".
"Laura was pissed after the textual assault she received from Jane".
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When a person's mere proximity is enough to make you feel like your being repeatedly punched in the sinuses by their overbearing perfume/cologne. Olfactory assaulters have no sense of smell therefore they are immune to their own chemical warfare.
Do you like my perfume?
Yes it's intoxicating, and by intoxicating I mean, I feel like I'm two drinks in and am being waterboarded with gasoline. Please end this olfactory assault. I surrender and will tell you anything you need to know. And I'll use my underwear as the white flag.
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