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The act of playing with someones penis without them knowing. Usually takes place while someone is unconcious or very drunk.
Eric liked playing with cock so much that he would slip drugs into mens drinks and take advantage of them while they were sleeping. They now call him the cock burglar.
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A pooper who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a dump at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.
I was dropping a nasty deuce when the Turd Burglar jiggled the handle.
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This is the asshole who comes into the public restroom and just hangs out while you're trying to drop a deuce. He may just wander around, wash his hands, or fake taking a piss. However, his main purpose is simply to stand around and annoy you - possibly for his own sexal gratification.
Dude, I was trying to drop my daily deuce at work, and this turd burglar came in. He washed his hands for like 2 minutes before finally leaving in defeat.
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A derogatory term for a man of homosexual tendencies.
See also: Marmite/Vegemite/Chutney Ferret; Tail-gunner; and obviously faggot etc.
Man that guy is a turd-burglar
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1. When you finally have enough solitude to take a dump because you are afraid that someone might say something. when the turd is being waved home someone barges in forcing you to squeeze it back in.
Often times you know the Turd Buglar's identity.
2.The extremely annoying person who has no buissness in the bathroom yet stays their playing with his/her phone or looking at himself/herself in the mirror. All the while your trying to hold in a dump that youve been holding in since the Regan Administration until waiting until he/she finally leaves
1. God, why the hell does Andy need to always barge in when Im taking a shit? What a goddammed Turd Burglar.
2. Jesus when is this guy gunna leave already, I have this massive turd and insecurity issues to unload here.... FOR THE LAST TIME STOP LOOKING AT YOURSELF IN THE MIRROR THATS NOT BROCCOLI YOU TURD BURGLAR!!
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Finally, you are all alone in the public restroom about to unleash a huge shit. Lo and behold, someone enters said restroom, interrupting your feces expulsion.
You sit quietly listening to what the fucktard is up to. Normally, he will do one of three things: 1) fake taking a piss; 2) wash his fucking hands for an hour; 3) just stand around silently.
There are only two ways to rid yourself from this low lifeform: 1) let loose the greasiest, juciest, diarrhea-filled fart you can muster; 2) squeeze the shit back into your ass, exit the stall, and kick the shit out of the freak.
This, my friends, is the true definition of a turd burglar.
Dude, I was at the mall and this turd burglar just stood around for like 10 minutes while I was trying to squeeze one out. I finally got so pissed that I commanded my asshole to suck the shit back up. I then proceeded to bust down the stall door and beat the shit out of him.
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One who steals goods from another's ass.
The ass burglar just stole all my shit!
(pun intended)
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