Random
Source Code
Random
A spread for toast made of vegetable extract. While it is extremely popular in Australia, it is reviled everywhere else. This aspect of vegemite is used for great humour by we Australians, as a single smear of it will reduce a non-Australian to a quivering jelly, similar to a veteran of 'Nam.
To make a vegemite sandwich, you must toast two slices of bread, and then butter it. You must then add just the right amount of spread, I find that half-a-teaspoon per slice works perfectly. Press the two slices together, and eat. Then, depending on nationality, you will proceed to the local pub or to the ER.
Some leading scientists theorise that we Australians can digest vegemite do to our stomachs and tongues being lined with a natural Kevlar, strengthened by years of swearing, drinking and licking kangaroos.
Robert: Hey, you wanna try a Vegemite sandwich?
Johann: Okay, I've never had one before.
Robert (prepares sandwich) here you go.
(Johann eats it, then coughs up own appendix)
Robert: Wussy.
75👍 6👎
I said "do you speak my language?", he just smiled and gave me a Vegemite sandwich
2👍 3👎
Salty brown paste offered by muscle-bound bread salesmen in Brussles to Australians, often in the form of a sandwich.
Buying bread from a man in Brussels
He was six foot four and full of muscles
I said, "Do you speak-a my language?"
He just smiled and gave me a vegemite sandwich
And he said,
"I come from a land down under
Where beer does flow and men chunder
Can't you hear, can't you hear the thunder?
You better run, you better take cover!"
437👍 125👎
A sandwich spread made from tractor grease that tastes so foul, only Australians are tough enough to eat it.
Pass the Vegemite Bazzer, I ran out of grease for my tractor.
45👍 13👎
BUTT paste of the Australian gods
Put some vegemite on your toast
17👍 2👎
Delicious Australian spread, made from used brewer's yeast. Non-Australians tend to give descriptions of it similar to 'tastes like a mixture of salt and battery acid'. This is because they are wimps, and need to drink more beer, eat more pies, and of course, eat more Vegemite.
We're happy little Vegemites, as bright as bright can be,
We all enjoy our Vegemite for breakfast, lunch and tea,
Our mummies say we're growing stronger every single week,
Because we love our Vegemite,
We all adore our Vegemite,
It puts a rose in every cheek.
1129👍 409👎
Vegemite is a thick black paste owned by a cheese company known as Kraft
many Australians enjoy Vegemite, Americans have been reported to spread it as thick as peanut butter not knowing its real power.
"Jimmy, would you like vegemite on your sandwich"
"No"
657👍 261👎