I don't know why I have these goggles

A phrase uttered by those who have given up on life after realizing their existence is meaningless, futile, and possibly fraudulent. Etymology: Aqua Teen Hunger Force episode "Dumber Dolls"

Happy Time Harry: Hey, wiggle jiggle, why you jiggle so much? Is it because he know deep inside you're a fraud? ... What the hell do you need night vision goggles for? You're a hillbilly!

Jiggle Billy: I don't know why I have these goggles ...

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I don't know if I need a shit or a haircut

Originally Northern Irish, this expression shows confusion. As in:

(1) I'm so drunk I don't know if I need a shit or a haircut!
(2) What the fuck are you talking about?! You don't know if you need a shit or a haircut!

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My foot hurts and I don't know why

A pain in the foot, caused by something or other that cannot be identified, could be as simple as a sharp pebble in your shoe to as bad as you having stage four cancer tumor in your foot.

Guy1: Ow, my foot hurts and I don't know why.
Guy2: That sucks.

I don't know, probably something racist

A phrase you say when you can't remember what your shitty relative said at the family gathering.

Family member who's not racist- "What was Uncle Allen talking about at thanksgiving?"
me- "I don't know, probably something racist"

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i don't fucking know

An angry expression of ignorance generally used in response to a specific inquiry.

- How do you think the cat got up there?
- I don't fucking know!

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I don't even know

A phrase used when one either: (1) Does not know what is going on, (2) does not know what just happened, (3) does not know the answer to a question, (4) or simply would like to break the silence.

Usually, when said phrase is used, it is followed by a near-endless spree of other quotes such as:

1.) Psh, I don't even know.
2.) Aw hail naw.
3.) Aw hail naw, cracka.
4.) Mmm hmmmm!

The phrase "I don't even know" is best used in the classic "I don't even know" speaking tone, which may only be properly "voiced" by either a colossal, Japanese monster, a small cat/kitten, or a constantly hyper-active younger brother.

"Matt, why aren't you talking?"
"Psh, I don't even know!"

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I don't know what I'm going to do with you!

Significant other is fed up or exhausted with the idea of you being around them.

Justin, you are getting to be too much and I'm confused about how I should handle you! You have made me mad/annoyed for the last time!!
("I don't know what I'm going to do with you!" is to be aggravated or annoyed by one's actions)