the human definition of simp. has a girlfriend 2 days and thinks heβs a mad one. hobbies include the creamy beamy and being shit at the family quizzes
gavin malone is a massive simp
Austin Richard Post, better known as Post Malone or Posty, is an American singer, who is now 25 years old and lives in Utah. He is recognized for songs like: Better Now, Rockstar, Congratulations, Candy Paint, Sunflower, Go Flex and many more. He has 4 albums: Stoney (2014-2016) Aug 26 (Mixtape 2016) Beerbong & Bentleys (2016-2018) Hollywood's Bleending (2019) and is currently working on a new album. He is also recognized for being someone who has quite a few unique tattoos.
Post Malone is the best person and singer in the world. (for me)
1π 2π
Elbowing your loved one's penis.
I gave that transvestite hooker a serious Karl Malone.
85π 33π
To do anything and add a bit of the Karl Malone piazzazz by putting one hand on the head model style, be it slam dunking the basketball, or just adding a little extra flavor to a kick flip.
"That would've been extremely lame, except that he added a Karl Malone-it!! What a bad ass!"
16π 4π
A sex act named for Ted Danson's womanizing bartender on the Sitcom "Cheers". To Perform the Sam Malone, a man receives fellatio from a woman (or man). He waits until he is near climax, then pulls out of his partner's mouth, and gouges them in the eyes with his pre-cum slickened unit, temporarily blinding them. He then pushes them down, finishes on their face, then stands up and yells "Cheers,Bitch!"
I gave my girlfriend the Sam Malone, and spent the night in a holding cell.
44π 16π
A Basketball Player in the NBA for the LA Lakers. Despite being 42, wearing ripped Jerseys and despite having sholders bigger than his head hes a good player. His Alias is the mailman
# Selected in 1996 as one of the "50 Greatest Players in NBA History"
# Two-time NBA Most Valuable Player (1996-97, 1998-99), one of only nine players in NBA history to win the Maurice Podoloff Trophy more than once
# Eleven-time All-NBA First Team selection (1988-89, 1989-90, 1990-91, 1991-92, 1992-93, 1993-94, 1994-95, 1995-96, 1996-97, 1997-98 and 1998-99), two-time All-NBA Second Team selection (1987-88 and 1999-2000), and a 2000-01 All-NBA Third Team selection
# Three-time NBA All-Defensive First Team selection (1996-97, 1997-98 and 1998-99) and a 1987-88 NBA All-Defensive Second Team selection
# Fourteen-time NBA All-Star selection who played in 12 games (missed 1990 game due to injury and the 2002 game due to family illness), including 10 consecutive contests from 1991 to 2001
# Named MVP of the 1989 All-Star Game in Houston after registering 28 points and nine rebounds, and named co-MVP with teammate John Stockton of the 1993 All-Star Game in Salt Lake City after tallying 28 points and 10 rebounds
# Ranks second all-time in points scored with 36,374, behind only Kareem Abdul-Jabbar (38,387)
# Holds the NBA record most consecutive seasons scoring 2,000 or more points (11, 1987-88 to 1997-98) and shares the record with Michael Jordan for most career 2,000 point seasons (11, 1987-88 to 1997-98)
# Tied Kareem Abdul-Jabbar (17) for most consecutive seasons scoring at least 20.0 points per game (17, 1986-87 to 2002-03)
# Scored a career-high 61 points, the most by a Jazz player since the franchise moved to Utah, against the Milwaukee Bucks on 1/27/90
# Scored a Jazz playoff-record 50 points and grabbed 12 boards against the Seattle SuperSoncics on 4/22/00
# Holds the NBA record for most seasons leading the league in free-throws made (seven, 1988-89 to 1992-93, 1996-97, 1997-98) and most consecutive seasons leading the league in free-throws made (1988-89 to 1992-93)
# Passed Moses Malone (8,531) to become the NBA's all-time leader in free throws made on 3/24/01 vs. the Washington Wizards
# Became the all-time leader in free throws attepmted on 12/10/01 against the Mavericks
# Ranks second all-time in field-goals made with 13,335 behind only Kareem Abdul-Jabbar (15,837)
# Ranks second all-time in minutes played at 53,479, trailing only Kareem Abdul-Jabbar (57,446)
# Ranks seventh all-time in rebounds, with 14,601
# Appeared in the 1997 and 1998 NBA Finals against the Chicago Bulls
# Named to the 1985-86 NBA All-Rookie Team and finished third in Rookie of the Year balloting after averaging 14.9 ppg and 8.9 rpg
# A member of the men's basketball "Dream Team" that won the gold medal at the 1992 Summer Olympics in Barcelona and the 1996 Dream Team that won gold in Atlanta
# Winner of the 1997-98 IBM Award
# During career, named NBA Player of the Week 22 times and NBA Player of the Month seven times
# Notched his third career triple-double with game-highs of 29 points (11-13 FG) and 12 rebounds, and 10 assists, in a 99-82 win over the L.A. Clippers on 5/4/99; recorded his second career triple-double with 32 points, 13 rebounds and 10 assists against the Toronto Raptors on 2/27/97
# Twelve-time NBA All-Interview First Team selection and 1999-2000 All-Interview Second Team selection
I also thi
Steve Nash: Who the fuck just elbowed me in jaw
Karl Malone: It was me Karl Malone
91π 42π
A black, Republican, redneck who had a great NBA career (while ball hogging, elbow throwing, and earning zero NBA Championship rings). He is as backwards as a Klan's man and more ignorant than Bill O'Reilly. Knocked up a 13 year old and proceeded to disown her and his son. Also fathered WNBA star, Cheryl Ford, who he ignored all her life up untill she became famous and successful. What a classy guy.
Karl Malone should be rotting in a Louisianna jail cell to this day for statatory rape.
64π 27π