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Stiffer than a preacher's cock up a calf's ass

A description of the state of rigor mortis, usually in a victim who has died where discovery of the death is delayed until after rigor has commenced

A reference to a rural belief that some members of the clergy frequently have anal sex with farm animals, particularly young calves

"They found him dead out in the woods. He was stiffer than a preacher's cock up a calf's ass."

by Redd D. Ringbone February 24, 2010


Preacher’s Daughter

Album of the century, released by Ethel Cain.

Preacher’s Daughter was so good!

by Suhduhfuuhuh April 28, 2025


The Preacher Effect

The feeling you get when someone has reached so far into what you are doing it feels like they have inserted themselves into your every crevasse of your anal canal

Adam felt The Preacher Effect so much he could read the guys wrist watch protruding from his mouth.

That was the worst Preacher Effect of my life. Now my arse is so stretched 4 squatters have permanently moved in to ease the pain.

by EvLovesGoldenRivets November 17, 2020


Preacher's Hands

Often manicured, clean, soft, and free of scars, callouses, or any other evidence of actual labor, preacher's hands indicate a life of idle preaching.

"That Habitat for Humanity recruiter was full of shit. How can he claim to build anything? He's got total preacher's hands."

"My boss says he knows how to fix a car, but have you seen his preacher's hands? The only fixing he can do is with a credit card."

by Charmingly Grouchy June 26, 2010


Health Preacher

Someone who is vegan, refuses to take the vaccine, buys expensive eco friendly products, thinks they are saving the planet by buying a bamboo toothbrush. Will happily splurge £80 on a mystery bag of white powder from Devo on the corner who claims its fire coke.

Will spend 4 hours debating about how bad it is that donkeys are being killed in Tunisia and it should be stopped now because it's awful.

But will smash a full McDonalds when they are a drink.

Oh Becky the other day was chatting so much shit about her new vegan diet and all her eco friendly products. She is such a health preacher

by NomadWordMaker January 08, 2021


The Preacher

A mating ritual preformed on the sabbath day of the week between a man & a woman that involves the man inserting both of his arms into the vaginal cavity of his partner to begin the act of prayer which, involves consecutively delivering oral while rotating his hands which are pointing to the heavens within in the vagina. If the oral is to the cliterous then you will be praying to heaven, if oral is delivered to the anus then you will be praying to hell.

Susy wanted to marry Johnny after discovering that Johnny has perfected the preacher.

by DrClappinCheeks March 10, 2025


preacher cuff

Hateful Man. Person who pretends to be your buddy, then puts a knife or some time bomb bullshit in your brain.

This preacher cuff hook me
How so?
He told me he was yours.

by OhThisGuy21 October 21, 2017