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1 The place with the weirdest weather in the world
OR
2 The place with the worst weathermen in the world
1
Guy 1: "dude i didn't know you could have tornado producing snowstorm"
Guy 2: "welcome to Springfield Missouri, but don't worry, if you don't like the weather wait 15 minutes, it'll change"
2
Weatherman: "We are predicting approximately 10-15 inches of snow"
Springfield resident the next morning: "i've seen coats of dandruff thicker than this"
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A small town about 15 mins east if Carthage Missouri. This town has more potheads and rednecks than you could imagine. Watch out for stds like chlamydia, HIV, and more!
Where's the best place to meet a redneck pothead? Sarcoxie Missouri
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When a person poops under the surface of a body of water (lake, river, etc), they receive extra cleansing in their anal region from carp attracted to the defecation.
-I took an aqua dump and got a Missouri Bidet in Party Cove over labor day weekend
-We forgot toilet paper on the boat, so hopefully there are carp in this lake for a Missouri Bidet
A Missouri Twist is when you wrap both hands around the penis during sexual intercourse and twist it really hard.
Guy 1: "Yo bro, my girl did the Missouri Twist on me last night"
Guy 2: "Ayo what the fuck"
This term refers to an act whereby a young lady circumvents the loss of her viginity by practicing anal instead of vaginal intercourse. Its namesake refers to the compromise of 1820, whereby Missouri was excluded from inclusion as free state, even though it was above the Mason-Dixon line. Similarly, When a young lady finally is subject to vaginal intercourse, it is known as bleeding Kansas, which refers to the after effects of the Kansas-Nebraska act of 1854 which revoked the Missouri Compromise.
Frank's girlfriend wanted to keep her flower intact but frank needed release. Because her braces cut him too badly, they had to go with the Missouri compromise.
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A nasty broke ass town where there is nothing to do! Full of druggies and hoes!
Teen1: This town blows! Nothing to do! Teen 2: So lets do drugs and have sex!
Welcome sign: Welcome to Nevada, Missouri. Drug capitial of the universe!
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Small town in Central Missouri located on the bank of the Missouri River. Well known for high school basketball, road tripping gravel roads, and consuming massive quantities of beer.
I got drunk last weekend in Glasgow, Missouri.
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