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Any parent (most commonly female) who seeks to impose their ethical and moral standards upon the rest of the world, justifying the suppression of all other views by claiming it is for the protection of their children. Soccer moms believe that they are all great parents, despite their inability or unwillingness to take responsibility for their children.
Soccer moms are responsible for almost every act of censorship, and almost every frivolous safety "feature" or warning label seen on products today. Movies and games that contain strong language, graphic violence, strong language, or references to the occult are banned on behalf of soccer moms, because they cannot be bothered to pay attention to what their children are watching or playing. They are the reason that the rear windows of certain vehicles, the Ford Taurus for example, can only be rolled down approximately 12 inches (or .3 meters), and there is no option to allow you to disable this "safety feature." They are the reason that bags of peanuts say "Warning: May contain nuts." That's intelligent.
Soccer moms are also a major contributing factor to the gas price hike that America has experienced in recent years. They attempt to stand out and look "rugged" by driving SUVs. They do not realize that an SUV is not an economy car. It is large, it is ponderous, and it takes a good deal of distance to come to a stop. It is designed to be abused like no other vehicle, by towing trailers, hauling heavy cargo, and driving off road. Instead, they have been converted to child haulers and grocery getters. They consume twice as much gas as a station wagon, which would perform the same tasks admirably. Soccer moms dismiss the fuel consumption with the excuse "If I can afford the gas, why should you care?" This demonstrates their absolute lack of economic knowledge, as it shows that they are completely ignorant of one of the most basic economic concepts: supply and demand. They use more gasoline, but the same amount is refined. The result is higher gas prices for all.
So, to summarize, they cause high gas prices, needless censorship, inconvenient "safety features," numerous traffic accidents, and an entire generation of their spawn ("rebellious" youth who are angst ridden and void of any and all responsibility and morality).
I hope this shows, conclusively, that soccer moms are the scourge of this land, and the movement must be eliminated at all costs.
Get on the highway and look around. 1 out of every 3 people you see is one of these wretched "Soccer Moms"
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Bitches who (like Jack Thompson) hate violent video games/ movies and try to censor anything and everything that is evil and/or satanic. She usally drives a huge-ass Minivan and/or SUV. She doesn't buy her kids T rated games, let alone M and AO rated games. To her, up to PG is the only movie rating her kids can watch. She also has an utter hatred for anime. Her kids are usually on the honor roll and participates in many after-school activities as possible (usually soccer). Some other activities her little fuckers might be in is Football, Basketball, Baseball, Band, etc. She sometimes volunteers at their kid's school and goes on school trips with them. Their home computer is installed with NetNanny or some other shit program that blocks "non-approprite material/content". The TV is installed with the V-Chip and has every TV rating show blocked except for TV-Y.
Soccer Moms suck and should die.
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30-50 year old white female, middle to upper class who drives an SUV/Minivan, thinks the world revolves around her 'perfect-angel' children. She lives the good life only because her husband is the success. She harbors feelings of inadequacy, and secretly (although she won't admit it) wants to be fucked by black men.
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Generally a middle-class to high-class Caucasian woman, 30-50 years of age. She drives a minivan. Doesn't give a damn that all the other kids at their "sweet little angel's" school think they are arrogant brats because they have been raised by a soccer mom. Forbids their kids to listen to any kind of music except Kidz Bop, the suckiest band of all time. Has all the channels blocked on TV except for PBS Kids. Even Nickelodeon and Cartoon Network (also sucky channels) are unsafe because the characters are mean to their siblings. (Welcome to reality, soccer moms.) Won't let kids see any movie that's PG-13 or R. If it's PG, she must watch it first. Involves her kids in many after school activities. Won't let her kids use the Internet because you know every website on the Net is crawling with rapists and child molesters and sexual predators and criminals and robbers and murderers. Ugh!
I'm a teenager. So I was spending some of my birthday money and walked out of the store one day with a see-through bag loaded with a pack of tampons, a few shaving razors, some shaving cream, Green Day's Bullet in a Bible, season 6 of Seinfeld, a miniskirt, and a box of movie popcorn. A soccer mom comes up to me and says "Why do you use tampons? Why do you shave your legs? You're too young. Green Day? Have you ever listened to Kidz Bop? They're wonderful. Seinfeld is so inappropriate. Why don't you watch Arthur? You shouldn't wear a miniskirt. And do you know how many calories are in that bow of popcorn?" I told her, "I'm a teenager, moron, so I should be using tampons and shaving my legs. Kidz Bop sucks and so does Arthur, miniskirts are not inappropriate, and I don't watch my weight. I'm only 75 pounds. So SCREW YOU!" She covered her kid's ears and told me not to use that language. I repeated, "SCREW YOU!" and walked away.
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The most loathesome creature to ever walk this earth.
One reason being that they're the cause of so many good anime series being severely butchered when dubbed, such as Rockman.EXE (MegaMan NT Warrior) and One Piece.
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White, middle-class, middle-aged female. Hair pulled through the back of the baseball cap, into a ponytail. Usually seen "driving" a very large SUV. Also seen at stop signs staring aimlessly with their mouth open waiting for an open spot in traffic. Usually doesn't find one, so they pull out in traffic hoping to make their own spot. Thus causing an accident, which is paid for by their husbands income. Seen as an active parent at school. However, they never talk to their children because they have a cell phone blocking their ear, that they constantly scream into. Participating in booster clubs, PTA, church organizations. Ironically, you can find them cursing at the cashier because he couldn't return their curtains that they bought over a year ago, but never found time in their oh-so-busy lives to put up. All of this is usually done in front of their 'christian' children, who are going to grow even more mindless than their role model of a mother. Occasionally they go in flocks to the nearest mall, and trash every department they step into, throwing shoes on the ground, leaving once-hung items lying on the floor. Sometimes you see them running for the nearest open register, and fighting with the women that casualy strolls in front of her, explaining that she was there first, and doesn't have time to waste. She has to drive her one or two children away in an SUV that comfortably seats 8, so they don't miss their sports practice, or dance recital. Inflating gas prices mean nothing to these women and their gas hungry SUVs, because they haven't paid for anything with their own money since they married the father, who gets drunk twice a day, and comes home late into the evening. Lastly, these soccer mom's only answer to "homemaker"
A soccer mom is the lady you've seen on the side of the road yelling into her cell phone, standing next to an SUV with a flat tire. Don't offer help, she'll never appreciate it.
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Some sort of detriment to life. A waste of body cells. Middle-class or lower-upperclass, SUV driving, bitch. Cuts people off on the roads, cause accidents only able to be paid for by her husband's income. High up on the school PTA, try to censor anything and everything. Fucked over all of American society.
They are also great targets for a variety of weapons.
Jay was drving his brand new Corvette Z06 when a fugly soccer mom crashed into it with her fucking large minivan. Needless to say, Jay upheld the rebellious spirit by blowing her head of with an M82 .50 cal. He then ate her children and blew up her house.
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