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Jersey in a nutshell, “fuh” starters people dislike “arrr” accents. People who are “Joisey” born and raised (No one says “joisey”, it’s “jurzee”) they have accents that may make them say “cawfee” or “dawg”, this is local flavor. Would you want every part of the country to sound the same? I’d want to go to Wisconsin and hear “Oh Shore Bud” so when I’m in Jersey I want to hear “Yo, how much fuh dem shewz”. Regions are boring without their local stuff. New Jerseyans are blunt, rude, loud, and short fused. But that’s just because we don’t know you yet. Catch us at a pizzeria or a “hoagie”,”cawfee”, or “baygal” shop, and we’ll be better. We go to Rutgers only and yes we’re upset that the Nets were moved from Jersey, no we don’t care about the Jersey Devil, or the Devils hockey team, that’s just pamphlet “gawbage”. (That’s Brooklyn) don’t you dare confuse us with that vile borough. At least you didn’t confuse us with Staten Island. *Shivuh down my “spooiine”* NJ is one of the safest places in the country, “jus” avoid Newark, Camden, Trenton, or Atlantic City. Well Maybe AC. If you go there don’t play any rap music loudly, unless it’s Meek Mill, or anything drill. You can go to the diners speckled around the state, and we take them seriously. Everyone goes to the mall for literally every other thing we buy.
Maybe you can buy a bathing suit to go to the “shore”, pronounced “shore”, and sure is pronounced “shore” as well, no it’s not confusing, and yes, you will see fake tans, dyed dark red weaves, and girls with hoop earrings. And don’t “fuhgit” about our poorly placed rose tattoos that lie behind our ears, or where you shouldn’t be looking. In New Jersey everyone is on their way to somewhere else, and you’ll get “chuh” “fillins” hurt if you drive the speed limit on any turnpike. Our roads are better than in “dirty asz new york”, and “bumpy asz philly”. And most of us aren’t italian, and no none of us want to be, and yes we think an hour drive is too “lawg”. We don’t pump “arr” own gas, you peasants. NJ is unique and if you live here it’s mostly like a lot of other places, but if look closely you can see that you get Yom Kippur off from school, and the state is dense af. Our weather is balanced, great theme parks, malls, authentically imported food, the “f’n” board”wawk” “fuh” “cryin” out loud. Oh yea, and fuck the Jersey Shore tv show.
to wipe your ass with your teammate's jersey before a baseball game.
Hey Duda! Collins really smells like shit today . Yeah I gave him a Flores Jersey. Don't tell anyone.
Taking a shower after pooping instead of wiping. Can be the result of a lack of toilet paper or inability or unwillingness to wipe.
After squeezing out a steamer I realized there was no toilet paper. So I jumped in the shower for the ol’ Jersey bidet.
Before the circle jerk begins, all participants pull their shirts over their head so they can’t see whose jerkin who…
Hey guys do you wanna have a quick circle jersey? Shirts up buds!!!
When a gang is getting ready for an all out war.
The act of being tough.
Getting ready for a fight.
The act of fighting.
Let's Jersey Up on my boss for being a douche.
When you're going to pound town and you fold her in half "hamburger style" putting her feet behind her head. There's a proud New Jersian who claims that this is his signature move making it the Jersey Hamburger.
Vinny: Hey Tony, you get a piece of ass last night?
Tony: Yea bro, I have her the ol Jersey Hamburger.
When you’re driving in New Jersey and a Fck head will zip around you just to turn off right away anyway.
Fck head just did a Jersey Merge...